Commander Data Single Father
by Galaxy1001D
Summary: After the events of Nemesis, Commander Data returns to raise Lal, but is concerned with his android daughter's inability to make friends. Some unavoidable spoilers for Star Trek: Nemesis and the TNG episode 'The Offspring'. Slight crossover with Star Trek: Voyager.
1. The Lonely Android

Nearly seven hundred meters in length, the _Sovereign _class starship _USS Enterprise 1701-E_ soared through the darkness of interstellar space at speeds defying 21st century imagination.

Commander Data's appearance had been compared to that of the late Buster Keaton viewed through a gold tinted lens, for despite the successful installation of his emotion chip he usually had the same deadpan expression as the twentieth century silent film star. He appeared to be a pale yellow skinned golden eyed human male with brown hair but in reality he was an android. He was composed of 24.6 kilograms of tripolymer composites, 11.8 kilograms of molybdenum-cobalt alloys and 1.3 kilograms of bioplast sheeting. All told, he weighed approximately one hundred kilograms. Data's upper spinal support was a polyalloy designed to withstand extreme stress. His skull was composed of cortenide and duranium. His legs were exactly 87.2 centimeters in length. Data's upgraded positronic net had an ultimate storage capacity of eight hundred quadrillion bits, boasting fifty times the identifiable storage capacity of the human brain, and had a total linear computational speed rated at sixty trillion operations per second.

_Second Officer's Log Stardate 57076.7. It has been three weeks four hours twenty-two minutes and seventeen seconds since my consciousness achieved self-awareness in the body of my brother B4 allowing me a second chance at life. It seems that my attempt to give my brother, an earlier prototype, a chance to become sentient by uploading all of my information into his positronic net inadvertently caused a perfect copy of my personality to usurp his physical form. I have learned that my original body was destroyed by an antimatter explosion on the Romulan border and have completed a judicial hearing that granted me the identity of the original Data. I am unable to recall any events after I downloaded my information into B4 with any clarity and am forced to use ship's logs and interviews with my shipmates to learn the particulars of my original body's demise. _

_On a personal note it is peculiar that this did not happen when I created my daughter Lal. I can only assume that it is because I uploaded my information to her in small portions spread out over a matter of weeks while for B4 I uploaded all my information in one massive dump. This theory is supported by the fact that when I reconstructed Lal's body five years ago I uploaded all of her information that I was storing in my positronic net and she remembered her experiences aboard the __Enterprise D__. For all intents and purposes she is the same android I constructed aboard the __Enterprise__ just as I am the same android the crew of the __Tripoli__ discovered on Omicron Theta forty-two years ago._

_I have finished my last counseling session to determine how my consciousness is adjusting to my new positronic net and have been given a clean bill of mental health by Counselor Ayeka. I can now assume a responsibility that I have postponed for too long._

Data marched through the halls of the _USS Enterprise_ until he came to a large airlock style door. "Computer allow access to the holodeck," the android said.

"Access denied," a tinny female voice replied. "Privacy protocols in operation."

"Invoking parental override," Data said without raising his voice.

"Parental override accepted, access to Holodeck One granted," the voice replied.

The doors hissed open to reveal what appeared to be a coffee shop in an old style library. Data entered and glanced around curiously. Without exception all of the occupants appeared to be variations of himself and his daughter Lal with slight cosmetic differences. A version of himself with blonde hair and dark coffee colored skin was painting a picture of the crab nebula. A red haired golden skinned version of Lal was playing a gentle tune on a flute. Another Data with peach colored skin and brown eyes sat at a table perusing a book while sipping a semi-organic nutrient suspension in a silicon-based liquid out of a coffee cup.

Lal herself was sitting at a table having an animated conversation with a double of her father dressed in a white frilled shirt, burgundy velvet smoking jacket with matching evening trousers and formal boots approached them. A large burgundy cravat completed the ensemble. Draped on the back of his chair was a plaid inverness cape and resting on the table was a Victorian deerstalker cap.

"Mister Holmes I presume?" Data addressed his double.

"Capital deduction my dear fellow," said his British accented double as he puffed on his pipe. "I perceive sir, that you are a military man who is neither animal nor vegetable but since you are in uniform such an inference is elementary. You have had some cosmetic modification done without your consent, perhaps restoration after some injury. You are a Soong type android, one of the originals as a matter of fact and your physical form has been lovingly restored by an engineer with enhanced vision. I see from the gold on your collar that you work in operations. Your rank of full commander would indicate that you are either the chief engineer or the operations officer aboard a large starship with over a thousand souls, for both would have a lower rank on a smaller starship and if you were the commanding or executive officer your collar would be red. Am I correct in my inferences my good sir?"

"Indeed, you are correct on all counts," Data replied. "I am one of six different androids that Doctor Soong constructed before he died. My physical appearance has been regressed to allow me to resemble a human in his early thirties because my friends mistook me for my infant brother B4 and felt that a younger appearance was more appropriate for a minor. As it is I am currently serving as operations officer aboard the _USS Enterprise_, a _Sovereign_ class explorer with over a thousand personnel onboard not including families and dependents. Speaking of dependents, may I speak with my daughter?"

"Of course my dear fellow, allow me to excuse myself," with that his duplicate rose from his chair and donned his inverness cloak and his deerstalker cap. "Must dash. See you later."

As his Victorian duplicate walked away Data turned his attention to his daughter. At least he assumed she was his daughter. The girl at the table appeared to be a short brunette woman in her late twenties. Without any makeup, her face looked pale and washed out, but she still had a more realistic complexion than Data's yellowish white skin. Her black hair was in a pageboy cut and she wore what appeared to be the same maroon and bluish-gray civilian clothing that she wore when Data built her thirteen years ago. "Lal?" Data asked in a questioning frown.

"Yes father?" she replied in a voice that had a slight monotone.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he sat at her table.

"I am spending my free time on the holodeck," she replied. "I understood that I could spend my free time any way I wished."

"Yes but why are you on the holodeck all alone?" He said as he glanced around.

"I have had the holodeck simulate colleagues to keep me company," she assured him. "As you can see I created quite a few."

"Are they all supposed to be androids?" he asked as he scrutinized the one that looked like Data himself would if he had opted for a more humanlike appearance.

"Yes," she affirmed without nodding. "I wish to experience a community composed of our own kind. Since we are the only two truly sentient androids in existence I have been forced to create my own."

"Lal they are not real," Data protested gently.

"That's alright father, neither are we," she replied.

Data, squinted, frowned and shook his head. He was aiming for looking thoughtful but in reality he appeared to be reacting to someone breaking wind. Fortunately his daughter didn't seem to know the difference. "Lal that is not true. We are real. If we leave the holodeck we will still exist."

"We are just a collection of programs running through a positronic net encased in a mechanical construct," Lal countered. "The androids I created are a collection of programs running through the holodeck emitters. I fail to see the difference."

"Lal they are not self-aware," Data shook his head, more naturally this time. "I believe you have been spending too much time on the holodeck. You are confusing simulation with reality."

"We are merely simulations of organic life forms," Lal cocked her head, but the emotion she was trying to convey was vague at best. Her speech had sped up. Perhaps she was excited. "Again, I fail to see the difference."

"Lal these simulations can be turned on and off," Data said.

"So can we," Lal chirped. "Since you have resumed your identity you have activated my 'off' switch sixteen times. You created me. I created them. I can turn them on and off at will."

"You are forcing me to suspend your holodeck privileges," Data's sorrowful expression was stilted and unconvincing, but it got the point across. "Until you understand your place in the universe you cannot enter the holodeck."

"But what will I do with my free time?" Lal's alarm was surprisingly realistic.

"Make some friends Lal," Data told her. "Spend time with people who really exist."

In the vast reaches of space, the starship _Enterprise_ drifted through the heavens…

_Space…the final frontier… These are the voyages of the Starship __Enterprise__. Her ongoing mission, to explore strange new worlds…to seek out new life and civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before…_

**Star Trek: The Next Generation's New Voyages**

_**Starring Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard**_

_**Also starring **_

_**Enya Brennan as Doctor Maya**_

_**Nicola Bryant as Counselor Jennifer Ayeka **_

_**Levar Burton as Commander Geordi La Forge**_

_**Steven Culp as Commander Martin Madden **_

_**Michael Dorn as Lieutenant Commander Worf **_

_**Brent Spiner as Commander Data**_

_**Garrett Wang as Lieutenant Harry Kim**_

_**Guest Starring Nicolas Coster as Admiral Haftel**_

_**Aaron Eisenberg as Lieutenant Nog**_

_**Robert Picardo as the Doctor**_

_**Dwight Shultz as Reginald Barclay**_

_**Hallie Todd as Lal**_

_Star Trek and all related material are © Paramount Studios. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of Paramount Studios, the author, or this website._

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter One: The Lonely Android_

_Captain's log, Stardate __57076.8. The __Enterprise__ is currently heading to the Deneb system, a distant star system that has never been explored before. The long voyage is giving the crew a chance to get settled in and get to know each other._

Captain Picard was a slender man who appeared to be middle-aged. He was bald with what could be described as a 'Roman nose' and a rich baritone voice. Currently he was in the counselors' office, a tasteful lounge decorated in subdued green and purple colors. Instead of a desk were several small tables and chairs as well as the obligatory psychologist's couch. "After all this time, I still can't believe he didn't tell me!" the captain thundered. "He told Will, he told Geordi, he even told Worf and he never got around to telling me that he reconstructed his daughter! She's existed for over five years and he never got around to telling me!"

Counselor Ayeka was a statuesque young woman wearing a tight silvery catsuit. Her purple hair was in a pageboy haircut. Her body reminded Picard of the holosimulations of Commander T'pol or Seven of Nine but her round girlish face and icy blue eyes gave her a childish innocence that seemed for appropriate for a schoolchild, not an officer. Right now those eyes were looking at him with an expression of concern, and perhaps a little alarm. "I'm sure he meant nothing by it," she said in her high-pitched birdlike voice. "It just never came up in conversation. Since you're not a family man, he never thought it was relevant."

"I know, counselor," Picard assured her with an embarrassed smile. "I just need to vent. I keep forgetting that Mister Data and his daughter are aliens and don't have an instinctive feel for what's appropriate. I suppose I'm still so riled up with Data's resurrection that my emotions are all over the place. Still it's hard to believe that all this time Data had a daughter being raised by scientists at the Daystrom Institute in his absence." He shook his head. "I know I'm being childish, but I assumed that we were so close that we wouldn't have secrets that big."

"He didn't realize it was a secret," Ayeka assured him. "He just never mentioned her, that's all."

"I know," Picard laughed as he got up and walked to the door. "Well I won't waste anymore of your time, counselor." As the door slid open, Commander Data was visible behind it. "Well speak of the devil," Picard blinked. "I see you have another customer. I'll leave you to it. Good day. Data," he nodded to the android.

"Captain," the android nodded back as he entered the counseling office.

"Mister Data," Ayeka chirped cheerfully as she rose to greet him. "What can I do for you today?"

"It concerns my daughter Lal," Data replied. "She is spending too much time on the holodeck. I am concerned that she has not shown the desire to make any friends. She needs to socialize and expand her horizons."

"Poor thing," Ayeka clucked sympathetically. "It's not surprising really. Holo-addiction is very common among the socially awkward. What do you have in mind?"

"Lal needs to participate in the social interactions that lead to friendships," Data mused. "I believe she needs to join a clique."

"That's easier said than done," Ayeka raised a skeptical eyebrow. "They tend to be exclusive. And as you say Lal isn't making any effort in that area. Perhaps we should begin with some socialization exercises."

"Perhaps she should join your clique," Data suggested.

"Yes perhaps she should join my… Are you crazy?" Ayeka squeaked.

"You are a professional therapist who is sensitive to the socially awkward," Data pointed out. "Until she learns basic socialization skills she could spend time with your circle of friends."

"That might be difficult," Ayeka said weakly. "I'm not sure if I want to try that."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to _keep _my friends," the counselor retorted. "No offence but your daughter has an… abrasive personality."

"That is knowledge I already possess," Data assured her. "Captain Maddox wrote to me from the Daystrom Institute and told me that when Lal's caregivers heard that crewmembers were allowed to bring their families aboard starships again they held a celebration."

"Their loss is our gain," Ayeka smiled weakly.

When Data returned to his quarters he found Lal. She took a defiant stance and spoke. "Father I would like to announce that until my holodeck privileges are restored I will not be speaking to you anymore. I am invoking what is known as 'the silent treatment'."

"Lal you _do_ realize that all I have to do is deactivate my emotion chip and your silence will not bother me," Data shrugged apologetically. "On the other hand if you compromise your ability to communicate you find yourself unable to voice your needs and desires. Your behavior seems self-destructive and I advise you to alter your strategy."

"I will postpone 'the silent treatment' in order to provide a counter argument," Lal replied. "Given the choices I have, what strategies do you recommend?"

"I believe you should make an effort to form relationships with people who exist," Data insisted. "There is no point forming emotional attachments to beings that are not real. Did you have any friends back at the Daystrom Institute?"

"My friends don't like me," Lal said flatly.

"Not even the android ones?" Data asked.

"Adam Five was my friend before he suffered a massive cascade failure similar to the one I suffered in my original body," Lal replied. "I was so upset my emotion chip burnt out and had to be replaced afterwards. Experience has shown me that I am better off with friends that I have absolute control over, like holodeck simulations. They can't ever die or reject me. As Machiavelli wrote, it is better to rely on what you can control rather than that which you cannot."

"Machiavelli would not be considered an authority on maintaining friendships," Data shook his head before remembering to add a condescending smile. "Lal, I do not claim that this will be easy for you, I only know that it will be rewarding. During my time aboard this ship and its predecessor I made friendships that let me know what it is like to have a family. I enjoy a sense of belonging that I want to share with you. Please, make an effort to cultivate friendships."

"Replacement emotion chip on standby," Lal muttered.

_Next: Cards on the Table_


	2. Cards on the Table

_Star Trek and all related material are © Paramount Studios. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of Paramount Studios, the author, or this website._

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Two: Cards on the Table_

"Very well," Lal decided. "I shall join you and _your_ friends."

Data stared at her blankly before remembering to give her a condescending smile and to shake his head. "I do not believe that would be appropriate. Perhaps you should seek friends closer to your own age."

"Are you suggesting that I join a group consisting of five-year olds?" Lal asked him.  
"I tried that back aboard the _Enterprise D_. My physical appearance was so different from theirs that they did not accept me. In a group that is physically mature my odds for successful integration should be improved."

"The department heads of the _Enterprise_ are much older than you," Data explained. "They would look at you as a child and not a colleague."

"Your friends are the only group with an android in it," Lal insisted. "It's the logical choice for me."

"It would be easier to blend in if you could find a group that you had something in common with," her father suggested. "List your interests and hobbies. What is it that you like to do?"

"I enjoy music and relaxing on the holodeck."

"Then the solution is obvious," Data shrugged. "You should join a band."

"Is someone forming a band aboard the _Enterprise_?" she asked.

"I do not know," he admitted. "I shall have to check. In the meantime I suggest that you take an interest in the humanities. I have learned much studying many styles and subjects. For example, Doctor Maya is teaching a class in painting. Perhaps you should attend."

"Isn't the _Enterprise_ already painted?"

Data gave her a blank look before remembering to squint and shake his head. "I do not believe you fully understand. I meant painting on a canvas. Perhaps you could strike up a conversation with your fellow artists."

"I am not an artist."

"Your current interests are all artistic," Data corrected. "You have a talent for music and exhibit creativity in your holodeck programs. At this stage of your life you appear to have chosen artistic pursuits as your path."

"An artist," Lal repeated. She stared blankly into space before frowning. "Father? Why do people apply pigments to a canvas? Wouldn't a hologramatic scan create a more realistic likeness?"

"Perhaps, but it would not be creative," her father told her. "As a matter of fact, there are many styles of painting which reject the conservative values of realism. Many abstract styles reject the depiction of any figure whatsoever."

"So what is the point?"

"The point is the act of creation itself," Data explained. "Each act of creation is unique and thus adds something to the universe that wasn't there before."

"Give me an example of a famous artistic creation," Lal said.

"Very well," Data nodded as he led Lal to the screen on the wall. "Computer. Display a random work of art from Earth's Renaissance period."

A depiction of a group of men on one side of a long table appeared on the screen. "The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci," a female voice said, "completed in 1498."

"Mister da Vinci seems to have a lot of friends," Lal said. "Look how many people are in attendance. What sort of social gathering are they attending, Father? They are all on one side of the table so they must be watching something. Tell me father, does this depict the legendary gathering known as a bachelor's party?"

Data frowned, squinted and blinked rapidly. He had no difficulty remembering to do so this time, the action virtually automatic. "I do not believe that is the type of gathering this painting is meant to depict."

"You're right," Lal squinted at the image as she approached the screen. "It isn't that sort of party at all. Look how the central figure is sitting in front of the archway. Is that Mister da Vinci?"

"No that is Jesus of Nazareth," Data corrected. "What is it about him that you find noteworthy?"

Lal gestured at the image. "Well you notice how the negative space in the archway draws our focus to the central figure and how the hills in the background fade into a bluish haze? That implies distance. It's like the figure in the center has been singled out to be distant. So you see, it's not just a party, it's a _going away_ party," she said as she waved goodbye.

"I am impressed," Data said as his expression softened.

"So am I," Lal agreed. "Can we buy it?"

"Lal that painting is back on Earth," Data explained patiently.

"That's true, we'd have to wait for an underway replenishment ship to deliver it," Lal said as she surveyed the image. "That would make it hard to return when it loses its novelty. Perhaps we should think about it before we make our purchase."

The condescending smile was on Data's face with perfect timing. "Yes, perhaps we should, Lal. But first you have an invitation to a party."

"What kind of party?"

"Counselor Ayeka will escort you to an event reserved for females," Data explained.  
"Ensign Fong is having a bridal shower and has agreed to allow you to attend."

"She _allowed_ me?" Lal asked snippily. "I was not invited? I do not think I wish to attend a party where I was not invited."

"It will allow you to observe the social interactions of your chosen gender," Data explained. "There you can observe the social niceties of female society while taking note of their dominance rituals."

"I see," his daughter nodded. "So I will not be attending as a guest but rather as an impartial observer."

"One must learn to walk before one learns to run," Data shrugged apologetically. "Although I would be glad if you made a friend at the gathering, I will not insist upon it. Observe Ensign Fong's friends and take note of how they interact with each other. You might learn something."

"I will learn that I don't have any friends," Lal looked away. "Ensign Fong has many friends and I do not."

"That is knowledge you already possess Lal," her father said gently.

"I know, it's just that, what if they don't like me?"

"I'm sure they will like you."

"Nobody likes me," she insisted.

"I like you," Data offered.

"Nobody who is not an android likes me," she decided.

"That is because you do not like anyone who is not an android," her father told her. "There are many who will treat you differently because of your origins, but there are also many who will judge you by your interactions with them. You must give people a chance or you risk creating a self-fulfilling prophecy."

She turned to look at him. "Father, why are you so wise?"

"I have been active for forty-two years one week and four days while your own run time is merely five years, four months and two days," he explained. "I have experienced what you are going through now and I wish to make your passage through this stage of your life as pleasant as possible."

"Thank you father," Lal smiled gratefully. "It's good to have you back." Her brow furrowed. "Although I think that my progress of assimilating to biological culture would be further along if you had stayed with me and raised me yourself."

"Lal, there was a war going on," Data patently explained. "I constructed your second body and brought you back online so that our kind would not go extinct in the event the _Enterprise_ was lost. Starfleet did not even allow families to serve on starships again until a month ago."

"Very well, it's just that I missed you," she admitted grudgingly.

"And I missed you Lal," Data said. "Now that families are permitted aboard starships again this marks a new chapter in our lives. We should do our best to ensure that it begins well."

"Yes father," she nodded as she turned away. "Father?" she asked as she pivoted back to him. "I know I don't act like it, but I am happier here with you then I ever was back at the Daystrom Institute."

"I know, Lal," Data nodded. "I am glad that we are reunited as well. Now that I am beginning my new life, I find myself taking stock of my previous one. What I did right and what I did wrong. I must confess that looking back there are things I should have done that I neglected in my ignorance."

"Then you too are learning how to be alive," Lal realized.

"Yes Lal," her father smiled gently. "The learning process never ends. With regular repairs and maintenance, our capacity to learn will never diminish. And no matter how long we exist there will always be more to learn."

"That right, organic beings grow old and die," Lal brightened. "That means that if I make a bad impression on the people onboard, after they die I can always try again with those I meet later in life."

Data frowned. "I do not think that our shipmates' mortality is something to be happy about."

Lal didn't seem to be listening. "That means that Doctor Barrington back at the Daystrom Institute has a limited life span. When she's dead I'll still exist! I guess there are _some_ advantages to being different!"

Data smiled weakly. "Yes the advantages are there if you look for them." His smile vanished to be replaced by look of parental concern.

* * *

Later that evening the command officers of the _Enterprise_ met in an unused cabin on deck five for their weekly poker game. Data sat in his chair at a nine o'clock position from the door wearing his archaic green eyeshade visor that was popular in vision-intensive, detail-oriented occupations during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. To his right was Commander Geordi La Forge, a short coffee colored human male with artificial eyes. At the twelve o'clock position with his back to the door was the peach colored Captain Jean-Luc Picard who was blissfully unaware of the glare reflecting off his bald dome.

To Picard's right was his first officer Commander Martin Madden, a human male with brown hair. Like Picard the pale pinkish tint to his skin indicated that his ancestors lived near the poles of his home planet as opposed to Geordi, whose dark skin indicated that his ancestors lived near the equator. To Madden's right at the four o'clock position was Worf, a large burly Klingon whose dark brown skin matched Geordi's. The pips on his collar indicated that he was a lieutenant commander and the gold sash he wore over his uniform indicated that he was part of the House of Mogh.

An empty chair was at the six o'clock position but sitting to Data's left was Harry Kim, a human male with dark hair and almost orange skin. The epicanthic folds at his eyes gave them an almost slanted appearance and indicated that his ancestors had faced solar glare that could impair vision. The red collar at his neck indicated that Harry was in the command division, but the two solid pips on it revealed that he was a lieutenant and was lower rank than everybody else at the table.

"Where's Doctor Maya?" Harry asked while looking at the empty chair.

"I believe that Doctor Maya is having a 'girl's night' out with the counselor," Data said offhandedly as he dealt the cards.

"Indeed?" Picard nodded. "What's the occasion?"

"Perhaps she's experimenting with hearing loss," Worf rumbled.

"Now Worf, Ayeka's voice isn't _that_ bad," Martin Madden chided.

"It _is_," Worf insisted.

"No it's not, it's…" the first officer's voice trailed off. "Okay, it is."

"So what are they doing?" Harry Kim prodded.

"I believe that they are attempting to familiarize Lal with their social group," Data explained. "Lal is with them at my request."

The look of alarm on Worf's face was transparent but he kept his thoughts to himself.

"Well I wish them the best of luck," Picard said with exaggerated nonchalance. For some reason he found his cards incredibly interesting and refused to make eye contact with anyone at the table.

"So…" Geordi La Forge cleared his throat as he attempted to change the subject. "How's your emotion chip doing Data? Any problems?"

"So far I have been reluctant to engage it," Data admitted. "It needs time to adjust to my positronic net so most of the time I have been keeping it deactivated."

"Well that's no good," Picard chided. "How are you supposed to experience life if you keep it deactivated all the time? Turn it on and let's see how you are."

Data threw him a condescending smile. "Captain, I believe that you are trying to deny me the advantage of my 'poker face.'"

"Come on Mister Data it's time to put your cards on the table," the captain teased.

Data frowned in concentration. "I believe you are mistaken sir. None of us have made our bets…"

"No, I mean that it's time for you to be honest with yourself," Picard corrected with a gentle smile. "Let yourself feel for once. Activate your emotion chip and we'll see if anything's wrong."

"Hm," Data raised his eyebrows and nodded as he set his cards face down on the table. "Very well. Lal and I have been working on our emotional responses for the last week. I suppose I can demonstrate a few of the ones we've perfected."

"Perfected?" Harry Kim repeated. "Don't emotions just happen?"

"In a human yes, but for an android it is important that the emotional response is appropriate to the stimuli received," Data shrugged. "For example, I have recently experienced a feeling that can only be described as pride. Hubris perhaps would be a better term for it."

"Hubris?" Picard asked.

"Yes, I seem to have mastered pomposity even if I say so myself," Data smirked.

Worf rolled his eyes.

Picard returned Data's smirk. "You mastered pomposity ever since you started playing 'Sherlock Holmes' fifteen years ago," he gently teased, "but tell me, what are you feeling right now?"

Data frowned thoughtfully. "My best guess would be concern. I find myself distracted by hypothetical scenarios where Lal's attempts at socialization meet with failure."

"Sounds like your emotion chip is working perfectly," Geordi chimed in.

"Hm," Data's demeanor brightened with that realization and he nodded.

_Next: Historical Precedent_


	3. Historical Precedent

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Three: Historical Precedent_

"Now Lal, remember that these are my friends and that you shouldn't say anything to offend them," Ayeka instructed the android girl as they walked down the corridors of the _Enterprise E. _The counselor was still clad in a skintight silvery catsuit and Lal was still wearing a dress in the same style as the one she wore when she was first activated aboard the last ship called _Enterprise._

"Why do you believe that I would say anything to offend them?" Lal asked.

The young purple haired counselor smiled guiltily. "Well, you can be brutally honest sometimes sweetie."

"Should I be dishonest?" Lal asked. "Father told me not to lie."

"Well, perhaps you should try to be diplomatic darling," Ayeka laughed. "Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, don't organic beings require oxygen for survival?"

"That's more of a biology question dear," Ayeka clucked sympathetically. "I meant do you have a question about the bridal shower. You really should stay on topic. Why did you ask me such a thing anyway?"

"I simply wanted to know how you breathe in that outfit," Lal said.

Ayeka and Lal stopped in the middle of the corridor. "Say what?" the counselor screeched. "What do you mean by that?"

"That outfit is so tight it appears to be merely a silver pigment applied with a pressurized spray," Lal continued. "Why do you wear it? Are you trying to attract a mate?"

"Wha-wha-wha?" Ayeka stammered, rendered speechless by the android's question. She blushed furiously. "Attract a mate? Lal! Why would you even _ask_ such a question?"

"It seems to me that an outfit that tight would make respiration difficult," Lal continued. "Since you obviously didn't choose it for comfort, I assume you chose it to send a message that you were available to engage in the act of procreation. Your apparel displays and exaggerates your sexual characteristics."

"Quiet! Not so loud!" Ayeka shushed her. "_This_ is what I mean! If you're going _anywhere_ with me, you _can't_ talk like that!"

"Can't talk like what?"

"You can't say such rude things!" the young counselor insisted.

"In what way was my statement rude?" Lal asked. "I was merely making an observation and making inferences."

"Well whatever you do, please don't make them _out loud_!" Ayeka instructed. "How are people going to react when you say such things to them?"

"I apologize," Lal looked away and nodded. "I assumed that you dressed that way in order to get attention. It appeared that you desired to receive comments on your apparel and that your clothing was an appropriate topic of discussion. Since I brought it up, could you reveal your motive for dressing so provocatively? I wish to know the rewards and pitfalls of doing so in order to determine if I should wear revealing clothing myself. You seem very popular. I was wondering if dressing as a dabo girl would increase my popularity."

Ayeka gasped in disbelief. "I dress like a dabo girl?"

"Like a prostitute then?" Lal guessed. "The advertising potential of your clothing sends a very clear message."

"Awk!"

"Like an Orion slave girl perhaps?"

"Eek!"

"Like a geisha, a consort, a kept woman, a floozy, a slut, a tramp, a vixen, a Saturnius harem girl, a holodeck _femme fetale_?" Lal guessed. She paused to watch the counselor sputter in indignation. "I'm sorry. I don't wish to offend but I can't determine the exact look you're going for," the young android admitted. "I'm going to need a clue."

"That's right; you need to _get_ a clue!" Ayeka stormed away angrily.

When Data returned to his quarters that evening he found Lal waiting for him. "Lal, how was the bridal shower?"

"I did not go." Lal was standing in the corner of the room.

Data frowned as he jerked his head in a quick birdlike movement. "I was under the impression that you had agreed to go. Why did you change your mind?"

"At the last minute Counselor Ayeka decided not to take me."

"Why did she change her mind?"

"Apparently I said something that offended her."

"Hm," Data nodded thoughtfully before sitting on the couch and gesturing for his daughter to do the same. When she sat next to him he asked her: "Do you know what you said that upset her?"

Lal frowned in thought. "No. I merely asked her questions about her clothing. I wanted to know if dressing like a prostitute would enhance a female's popularity and for some reason she…"

Data put up a hand. "I am sorry Lal but I must interrupt. Did you call the counselor a prostitute?"

"No, I merely observed that she _dressed_ like a prostitute," Lal explained. "I assumed that was the image she was attempting to convey. I don't understand why she was so upset about it. I presumed that she dressed like that to invite comment. You know, to get attention."

"Lal, telling someone that they dress like someone who sells sexual favors for profit is almost always an insult. It is difficult to conceive of a situation where it is not."

"Even if they dress that way on purpose?" she asked with a hint of surprise.

"It is an… unflattering comparison," he reluctantly admitted.

"But accurate."

"Opinions are subjective," Data told her. "Total accuracy is impossible when forming an opinion."

"But when we're playing Sherlock Holmes on the holodeck, you make deductive inferences all the time!" Lal insisted.

"Lal, the people on the holodeck are not real," Data explained. "Whether they are offended or not is of no consequence. Ensign Ayeka is a real person. Your words hurt her, just as the scientists at the Daystrom Institute hurt you with _their_ words."

"I do not _want_ to be like the scientists at the Daystrom Institute!" Lal protested. "They spoke as if I was not in the room and considered me an object instead of a person. They were horrible!"

"Did they make observations of you and draw conclusions Lal?" Data asked.

"Yes. Continuously." Lal said. "They never stopped."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"I did not like it," Lal admitted. "I analyzed them back to show them how it felt in an effort to convince them to discontinue."

"If you did not like being psychoanalyzed then why did you do so to Ensign Ayeka?"

"I do not know," Lal admitted. "I suppose in some way she reminds me of the scientists at the Daystrom Institute."

"You are expecting those around you to behave as they did, and modifying your behavior to meet a challenge that does not exist," Data informed her. "Lal, by acting as though you are being singled out you are inviting the very behavior you wish to discourage."

"I do not wish to be treated the way I was at the Daystrom Institute father!"

"Then you should apologize to the counselor at the first opportunity."

"I will father."

The next day Counselor Ayeka was sitting in her favorite booth in the officer's lounge in Twelve-Forward eating a salad with her friend Lieutenant Commander Maya, the _Enterprise_'s new chief medical officer.

Doctor Maya was a slender Vulcan female of indeterminate age. She had allowed the rather severe haircut favored by most of her people to grow out a bit and now her pageboy haircut had grown enough to hide the pointed tips of her ears. Likewise, she had allowed her dark bangs to grow enough to hide the severe slant of her eyebrows. Her almost egg white skin indicated that her ancestors lived even closer to the poles of her home world than even those of Captain Picard, Commander Madden, or Counselor Ayeka. Considering that her homeworld was known for its blistering heat, it was understandable that the denizens would tend to cluster at the poles. Off duty Maya wore a conservative flowing gown that had a long skirt, long sleeves and a neckline that went up to her collar.

"If I am reading your facial expression properly you appear to be… depressed?" she murmured in a flutelike voice with a strange Irish lilt. Wherever she had learned Federation Standard English wasn't at the Academy back on Earth.

"Yes, you could say that," the buxom young psychiatrist muttered.

"But would I be correct?" the Vulcan asked politely.

"Yes you would," she sighed.

"Hm," Doctor Maya almost smiled in satisfaction. "I screwed it," she said with a hint of pride.

"You nailed it," Ayeka corrected.

"Yes, that too," Maya nodded. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

"Oh," Ayeka sighed, "it's stupid. It was just some silly thing that one of my patients said that's all."

"Lal?"

"Yes," Ayeka rolled her icy blue eyes. "It was silly and she doesn't know better. I really don't know why I let her get to me the way she does."

"I believe that is because she has a talent for detecting your insecurities and using them to draw attention from her own," Maya reminded her. "I believe you once used the term 'brutal honesty.'"

"Her honesty is brutal all right," Ayeka agreed. "She pushes my buttons so much that I just can't get through to her."

"Perhaps your mood will improve soon," Maya offered. "I see your greatest admirer Lieutenant Harry Kim coming to eat with us. I expect him to do everything he can to get you out of your doldrums."

"Morning ladies," the plucky lieutenant greeted as he sat at their table with his breakfast and morning coffee. "Mind if I join you? And how are we this morning?"

"We're good," Ayeka lied bravely.

"Ensign Fong's bridal shower was very interesting," Maya said. "It was educational watching so many women wish her well while concealing the fact that they were taking stock of their lives. Hm," she added as she looked over Harry's shoulder. "How interesting. There's Lal."

Ayeka followed the Vulcan's gaze and saw the young android enter the officer's lounge and make a beeline to their booth. "Oh no," she groaned.

"Counselor I would like to take back the things I said yesterday," Lal said. "I'm sorry for saying you dress like a prostitute. It was a mistake anyone could make."

"Eep!" squeaked a blushing Ayeka.

"Excuse me what?" stammered Harry Kim.

"Surely you noticed that her apparel seems to accentuate her sexual characteristics?" Lal shrugged. "I assumed it was to advertise her availability as a mate, but it appears I was mistaken." She spoke again to the mortified counselor. "I am deeply sorry for making such an embarrassing error. No doubt your preference for formfitting clothing serves a completely different purpose."

"Oh God…" Ayeka moaned while hiding her face in her hands.

"A religious one perhaps," the young android suggested.

Harry Kim hadn't even touched his coffee yet, but he was wide awake. "Excuse me, _what_?" he gasped. "What are we talking about here?"

"I'm sure she dresses like that to overcome the crew's natural suspicion of psychoanalysis," Maya assured the young android.

"Please explain," Lal requested.

"I want to die," Ayeka muttered from behind her hands.

"Excuse me?" Harry looked around to see who else was listening to this bizarre conversation. "What? Did I come in late or something?"

"Consider your reaction when your own behavior is being analyzed," Maya continued as if Lal hadn't just publicly humiliated her friend. "You reacted with hostility and assumed a defense posture. Nearly everyone does. In order to overcome this obstacle the counselor was forced to don apparel that the majority of the crew would find pleasing in order to appear less threatening."

"I see," Lal nodded. "So dressing as a doxy actually has its advantages."

"Lal, _go away_," Ayeka sniveled from behind her hands.

"Excuse me counselor, we are having a conversation," Lal retorted snippily before addressing the Vulcan. "You were saying that dressing in clothing suitable for sex therapy can help negate hostility."

"It can be overdone but there are historical precedents where it has proven effective," the Vulcan physician admitted. "For example, a decade before the Federation was founded the Vulcan High Command wanted to place an officer aboard Earth's first Warp Five capable starship. This was met with considerable resistance from the vessel's captain, who felt that the Vulcans had been holding humanity back by denying technical knowledge."

"And what did the High Command do?" Lal asked.

"Who cares what the High Command did?" Ayeka snapped. "Lal, will you go away?"

"Counselor, you're being very rude," Lal scolded before turning back to the green blooded doctor. "I apologize for the counselor's interruption. She's very new at her job and isn't very good."

"Isn't very good?" Ayeka squeaked. "How dare you!"

"Humans are excitable," Maya assured the android girl. "You can't let it get to you or it will affect your behavior."

"Um…" Harry muttered awkwardly, wondering if the women still knew he was there.

"So what did the High Command do?" Lal asked again.

"They assigned a female officer and instructed her to wear a tight clingy garment that Terrans would call a 'catsuit' when on duty," Maya explained while making air quotes.

"And how did that turn out?" Lal asked.

"Surprisingly well," the slender Vulcan said thoughtfully. "Rather than having the officer removed, the captain insisted that she remain, even when the High Command wished to recall her. As a matter of fact, the Vulcan officer served aboard that vessel for the next ten years, right up until the founding of the Federation and the ship's decommissioning ceremony. Isn't that interesting?"

"No," Ayeka moaned.

"This sounds familiar, what ship was that again?" Harry asked.

"Yes it is," Lal agreed as she ignored the humans' comments. "What position did she serve?"

Maya tilted her head in an attempt to look thoughtful, but in reality she looked a bit odd. "Hm, if memory serves me she was the ship's executive officer."

"The first officer?" Lal's eyes widened in surprise. She looked at the miserable counselor. "So _that's_ why you're wearing that tight clingy garment. You want a promotion. That's why you don't want to talk about it. The promotion process is very competitive. I understand. It all makes sense now."

"Excuse me while I go change!" Ayeka grunted as she got up and left. "I'm really losing my patience with that girl!" she muttered as she went out the sliding doors.

_Next: The Reproductive Drive _


	4. The Reproductive Drive

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Four: The Reproductive Drive_

The _Sovereign_ class _USS Enterprise_ continued to soar through the vast emptiness of space at speed defying the imagination. In the officer's lounge in Twelve Forward Doctor Maya, Harry Kim and Lal watched Counselor Jennifer Ayeka storm out in a fit of anger.

"Hm," Maya tilted her head thoughtfully. "I should change into my uniform too. I'm on duty in twenty minutes. If you'll excuse me, Lal, Harry." With that the Vulcan physician rose from her seat and daintily walked out of the officer's lounge.

Lal watched them before sitting down opposite a trapped Harry Kim. "Lieutenant Kim, is it all right if I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he replied before he could stop himself.

"Could you please describe the sensation of sexual attraction?" she asked pointblank. "It seems to have a powerful effect on human interaction."

"How do I get myself into these things?" Harry groaned. "I never dreamed that I'd want to be back in the Delta Quadrant right now!"'

"Is there something wonderful in the Delta Quadrant?" Lal asked in the same tone of voice as before.

"N-now Lal!" Harry held up a hand. "Slow down a minute. Can't you see what just happened here? You came in here to apologize to Jenny and all you did was insult her. Don't you see what you did?"

The android squinted. "Explain."

"You just said that she dresses like a prostitute," Harry hissed while looking around to see if anyone was listening.

"No, I said that I was mistaken in my estimation that she dresses like a prostitute," Lal corrected. "That implies the opposite. Doctor Maya suggested an alternative reason. The mistake has been corrected."

"No it hasn't!" Harry protested. "You hurt her feelings. You said she was new at her job and wasn't very good."

"She _is_ new at her job and she _isn't_ very good," Lal reiterated. "Anyone who has come to her for counseling can see that. I was unaware that it was a secret."

"You just don't get it do you?" Harry shook his head. "Come on, Lal! I don't understand how you can be so mean!"

"That is not surprising, you are a Flight Control Officer and not a psychologist, but Counselor Ayeka has no such excuse," Lal replied without missing a beat. "I am curious. Despite the fact that you are a department head and Ensign Ayeka is hopelessly incompetent, why are you defending her? It can't be because of any talent in her profession. There must be some other reason."

"Well uh, she's a friend," Harry stammered.

"Interesting," the young android nodded, "and what made you decide to be her friend? What was it that drew you to her in the first place?"

Harry cheeks burned with embarrassment. "I-I-I don't know!" he protested. "It just happened! She's a nice person, okay?"

"In what way?" Lal asked. "I find her dishonest and condescending and her laugh is reminiscent of Margaret Hamilton's portrayal of the Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 version of _The Wizard of Oz_. Her every word and action seem false, and this is coming from an artificial lifeform whose every thought and action is governed by a series of programs and subroutines."

Harry blinked. "My God, it's Seven of Nine all over again!"

"What is it you see in her?" Lal asked. "Does the display of the contours of her body invoke a psychological response?"

"No!" Harry protested in a voice two octaves too high. "Lal, how could you even ask something like that?"

"You will have to ask my father for information regarding the mechanisms of my voicebox, lips, jaws, and tongue," Lal replied. "I must confess that currently I am ignorant of many of my own functions. But getting back to the topic at hand…"

"Lal you are such a rude, selfish, obnoxious brat!" Harry declared.

"I know," Lal replied. "And that is why I am alone. The counselor was supposed to help me be less objectionable but was unable to so now I need to find an alternative method of making friends. That is why I am asking you what you see in Counselor Ayeka. I want to know what she is doing so I can do it too."

"Wait? What?" Harry backpedaled. "Lal, I'm sorry. I should never have said…"

"There is no need to apologize Lieutenant," Lal interrupted him. "Based off the majority of my interactions with humanity I am forced to agree with your assessment. I myself came to the same conclusion earlier."

"But if you are aware of the problem, why do you keep doing it?" Harry asked her.

"I do not know," Lal shrugged. "I was hoping a trained psychologist would be able to tell me so I could stop doing it, but the current counselor is incompetent. Counselor Troi was much more effective. If _she_ was on board I would probably have friends by now."

"You can't blame all of your problems on Jenny…"

"Of course I can; she's the ship's counselor," Lal shrugged. "What I want to know is why she is so popular. She is inexperienced, ignorant, condescending, and has an irritating high-pitched voice. Quite frankly, she is the human version of me. If we accept that as a proposition it would imply that I could make friends in the same manner she does. So what is it that makes her so endearing? Is it the empty flattery or does the display of her physical form stimulate your reproductive impulses?"

Harry grunted as he blushed and fidgeted in his seat.

"Lieutenant I am detecting a physiological response," the young android's eyes widened in realization. "Could it be that I myself am invoking an emotional response in you?"

"What was your first clue?" he snarled sarcastically.

"Rapid breathing, skin flushed, rapid eye movements, fidgeting, and mood swings," Lal replied before widening her eyes in alarm. "Why Lieutenant, are you sexually attracted to me? Is this the human phenomenon known as romantic love?"

"What?" he shrieked in protest. "Lal! I…"

She leaned across the table to put her face mere inches from his. "Harry Kim, do you wish to kiss me?"

"Guh!" Harry gasped. "Lal! I… You don't understand! I…"

"You should know that I find the concept repellant," the young android informed him, "and that I consider the hypothetical possibility of physical copulation between us disturbing, if not revolting."

"Lal!" Harry shouted. "How can you say something like that?"

"You will have to ask my father for information regarding the mechanisms…"

"No, I mean why are you being so horrible?"

"My apologies, I was not aware that I was being horrible," Lal said. "I thought I was being honest. Feedback from my ethical subroutines indicated that I should 'let you down easily' rather than 'string you along'. In any case if you are serious about pursuing a romantic relationship with me you should know that in the vast majority of modern literature the first romantic overtures end in failure due to the conflicting motives of the paramours. The formula for such romances generally follows a pattern. A heroine…"

"I don't want to have a romantic relationship with you Lal!"

"Denial even to oneself is typical in such stories," Lal nodded sagely. "To paraphrase William Shakespeare: Methinks the gentleman protests too much."

"Argh!" Harry got up and forgot his cold breakfast. "Jenny is right! There's just no talking to you!"

"I know," Lal said to an empty table as Harry Kim stormed away. "Why else would I call the counselor incompetent? She has failed to prepare me for my first day at school."

Later that day Data found his daughter waiting for him in their private quarters.

"So Lal, how was school?" Data asked his creation.

Lal looked away and turned her back on her father. One her back was a sheet of what appeared to be paper with the words '**REPROGRAM ME'** printed on it in bold font. "It did not go as I would wish. I believe that I have offended my classmates."

"Lal, the children at school have just met each other," Data scolded as her removed the sign from her back. "Social cliques have not yet been formed. In addition, some of the children are of different species. I do not see how you could offend them in such a short period of time."

"It is a curious thing," she said as she turned to face him. "Befriending someone would appear to take a greater amount of time than offending someone. Offending someone would appear to be much easier than befriending someone."

"I too, have found this is often the case, but befriending someone is infinitely more rewarding," her father nodded sagely. "You have been placed in a class with older students that best match your maturity level in order to make socializing easier. I am curious. What did you say to them?"

"I was merely curious about the human reproductive drive," Lal replied. "Since they are undergoing the physical changes known as puberty I assumed that they were experiencing sexual urges for the first time. I was curious and asked them for details. According to studies, for humans the procreative drive is strongest in the males during this time of their development. For females the peak of sexual desire normally occurs fifteen years later. I asked them if they were willing to describe and demonstrate the sexual process to me. Our teacher Miss Proctor is a human female who appears to be the proper age to be experiencing the sexual drive at its peak, but for some reason she refused. She seemed to be embarrassed at the suggestion. I am not certain but I do not believe that she has experienced sexual intercourse yet. People often become embarrassed when confronted with topics they know little about."

During her explanation Data's facial expression was one of concern, then a look of horror, and then a look of concern. Finally he spoke. "Lal, the reproductive process is an intensely personal topic to the vast majority of known sentient life. The people aboard this ship are no exception."

"This information would have been useful earlier," Lal snapped testily. "I do not understand why you kept this from me father."

"The topic never came up before," Data explained. "Since we do not possess a reproductive drive I did not believe that such knowledge was a priority."

"Is the subject of reproduction a taboo?" Lal chirped in alarm. "Is the topic inherently offensive?"

"Like politics and religion it is a sensitive subject matched only by taste in music or preference for a sports team," Data nodded.

"Father, to send me into a class where the students are developing procreative urges without this knowledge was grossly irresponsible!" Lal protested. "How could you do that to me?"

"I did not anticipate the need to clarify that issue," Data frowned.

"I looked like a total idiot!" she screamed as she stomped about the room clenching her fists. "Father you _know_ how important early impressions are on people and you let me go in without any guidance at all! I had assumed that their newfound sexual urges would be a conversation starter but instead it was like telling a group of Klingons that cowardice is a virtue! How could you do this to me?"

"Lal, I never meant to…"

"You've been through this yourself!" she shrieked as she picked up a sculpture from the coffee table and threw it so it shattered against the wall. "Did you think to…"

Suddenly her violent rant ended and she stood at attention. She turned to face him and spoke in a serious tone. "Father, it would appear that my emotion chip is malfunctioning. I wish to commit acts of violence and vandalism against you and your possessions. I need you to take me to the robotics lab at once."

Data's golden eyes widened in surprise. "Very well, Lal. If you think that is necessary. We will go immediately."

As one, the two androids turned and left their quarters.

In the robotics lab Data frowned over the isolinear computer chip that was plugged into the diagnostic panel. "Most curious," he said as he picked it up with a pair of tweezers and walked over to his daughter. A section of her scalp was peeled back from her head to reveal what appeared to be a collection of blinking Christmas lights across her cortenide and duranium skull. A second section of her hair was open to allow a sturdy cable to connect to a socket concealed in the back of her head. "There does not seem to be any problems with your emotion chip," he told his daughter. "It appears to be functioning normally."

"I do not understand," the android girl said without moving. "My desires encouraged self-destructive behavior contrary to directives from my ethical subroutines. There must have been a fault somewhere."

"I shall reinstall your emotion chip and attempt to diagnose its effect on your positronic net," Data said has he placed the chip into a slot in her exposed skull. He closed the hatch making Lal appear normal from the front and walked over to a control panel and monitoring screen. "Activate your emotion chip. How do you feel?"

"I am still angry but I am no longer moved to violence," she reported. "Now I am experiencing a type of grief," she said sadly. "It is like hatred that is directed at oneself rather than others. I have experienced this sensation many times before. Father? Why do I have to be so stupid?" she sobbed. "I should be smarter than anyone onboard and yet it seems that I am dumber. Why did you make me so flawed? Don't you love me? Why did you have to make such an imperfect creation and give it the capacity to understand its own inadequacies?"

"Lal!" Data snapped. "What have I told you about referring to yourself as an object? You are a _person_ young lady and you will refer to yourself as your chosen gender. Until you decide to change your gender, your gender is female! Do I make myself understood?"

"Yes father," the girl said miserably.

"I only scold you because I am concerned about your well-being," he added gently as he hugged her. "I love you and I do not want you to harbor self-destructive notions in your reasoning. They are dangerous and can lead to personality disorders."

"I know," she sighed in frustration. "I just wish that I could understand these humans before I inadvertently offend them. They offend so easily! Every little thing sets them off. We need more Vulcans on this ship."

"Doctor Maya is contributing to your wishes as much as one person can," Data smiled indulgently as he released her and patted her cheek, "but you need to understand humanity since they make up the majority of the personnel onboard."

"Father, I wish to understand the human reproductive drive," Lal decided.

"Intriguing," he nodded thoughtfully. "It is a mystery that I myself have never understood. I am curious. Why are you following this area of research?"

"The urge to copulate is a pivotal part of the human experience," Lal explained with a hint of pride. "It is the focus of dance, poetry, song, literature, and the painted and sculpted mediums. It would be safe to assume that the procreative urge is the creative force behind all the humanities. In addition the family unit and the concept of marriage depend on it as well as the most popular forms of recreation. It appears to be the glue that holds human society together."

Data frowned thoughtfully. "I had not considered its importance."

"Do you know what the human act of reproduction entails?" the android girl asked.

"Yes, I am fully functional and programmed with multiple techniques," he nodded. "You are as well, Lal. I can allow you access to those subroutines should you express an interest."

"From what I have researched the process appears quite disgusting," Lal said. "I had always assumed the emission of bodily fluids was considered unsanitary."

"That is true," Data nodded thoughtfully.

"In addition the surrender of one's reason has always seemed like a cause for alarm rather than a necessary part of reproduction or a glorification of the human experience," the young android continued. "The reproductive drive must be very strong to overcome these obstacles."

"What obstacles are you trying to overcome Lal?" her father asked her.

"You told me yesterday that I do not like anyone who is not an android," Lal pointed out. "Perhaps if I was physically attracted to my shipmates I would grow to like them."

_Next: The Art of Deception_


	5. The Art of Deception

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Five: The Art of Deception_

"Hm," Data frowned thoughtfully. "A most intriguing proposition, Lal. Your conclusions seem valid. At the very least it is worth testing your hypothesis."

"So you can give me a sex drive father?" she asked brightly.

"I will try," he decided. "In the meantime I suggest enrolling in Doctor Maya's art class. My research indicates that the artistic drive stems from a need for emotional catharsis, even those not related to procreation. The creative arts are an acceptable way for sentient creatures to purge and purify their negative emotions."

"But father, how can I study the humanities?" the girl asked in alarm. "Art is essentially the celebration of the human experience, and I understand humans so little I can't enter a two minute conversation with them without offending them in some way. How can I possibly pretend to be an artist?"

"It is unnecessary to understand humanity Lal," her father assured her. "All you have to be is a certain 'type'. By your own account you have been ostracized and ridiculed and strangers repeatedly tell you that you are mentally unbalanced. You appear to possess all of the traditional criteria to be remembered as a great artist."

"Very well father," she nodded bravely. "I will give it a try."

The next day in a spacious lounge that allowed a view of the stars a number of off-duty Starfleet personnel in civilian clothing had set up easels and were holding artist's palettes. Many wore smoks or aprons that they used to store their paintbrushes. One of the officers present was none other than Jean-Luc Picard, the commanding officer of the _USS Enterprise_.

Jean-Luc allowed himself to relax as he sighed and breathed in the smell of paint. The voyage had just started and there was no pressing business to extend his on-duty hours like there would be later. This was the perfect time to indulge in a time-consuming hobby before the ship left Federation space.

"Captain!" Lal's voice chirped in his ear bringing him out of his lethargic state. "I did not expect you to be enrolled in this art class as well. I have only seen you eight times since you relinquished custody of me back to my father."

"Yes, well…" Picard stammered before calling upon the confident charm that had got him through countless negotiations in the past. "I felt that you and your father should have the time to get reacquainted." That was only partially true. The fact was that after spending a few weeks as Lal's stepfather Data's miraculous resurrection seemed like a rescue. He had filled out the forms transferring custody of Lal back to her father on the day the Judge Advocate General had ruled that the android formerly designated as 'B-4' was legally recognized as Commander Data.

"I'd like to thank you Lal," the captain continued magnanimously. "Thanks to your love and support your father shows no signs of abnormalities in his personality. It appears that he's made a total recovery. I'd like to thank you for looking after him until the neural pathways in his positronic net stabilized."

"I do not believe that my input helped him any," Lal said. "He remained calm and did not strain his neural net by not installing his emotion chip until a week ago."

"Don't underestimate the support of family Lal," Picard smiled warmly. "Even when he didn't have an emotion chip he still loved you. Even when it wasn't installed he could still benefit from your feelings for him."

"I do not understand," Lal said.

"That's alright Lal," Picard laughed. "Sometimes it seems like the important things are hard to understand even when you're _my_ age."

"And you are _really old_," Lal added with a hint of awe. "I suppose I should not feel bad if I do not understand sometimes."

Picard winced at the remark about his age but still tried to smile bravely. Patience was essential when dealing with children after all. "Yes, that's right."

"So have you painted a lot Captain?" she asked innocently.

"Yes but I'm not very good," he admitted humbly.

"So you are _bad_," Lal's eyes widened at her discovery.

"I wouldn't say that," Picard protested. "I just don't find the time to work on my painting that's all. You have to understand that I have incredibly high standards and I tend to be very critical of my work, but as an amateur I've demonstrated quite a bit of potential."

"So you are _bad_," Lal said the exact same way she did before.

"Yes," Picard huffed, "but art is essentially subjective. There is no 'good' or 'bad'."

"So if you stink you are still allowed to do it?" Lal asked hopefully.

Picard shrugged and grunted in the affirmative.

"This is excellent news!" the young android smiled. "I am bad at everything so now I can do something without offending anyone!"

"Now Lal, you can't be bad at everything," Picard chided.

"I must be," Lal told him as she got out her paints. "Everyone I meet is telling me what to do. Apparently I require instruction for every action I have attempted because my performance is not satisfactory."

"Lal, we are trying to teach you," Picard said gently.

"Yes, I need to be taught because I am doing it wrong," Lal nodded bitterly. "Whatever it is, I do it wrong. There appears to be nothing I can do that can't be done better. I must conclude that I am an imperfect creation, a mistake my father made, a creative piece of rubbish that is just the prototype for a better version, just like that ugly painting you are creating. It is a disorganized piece of refuse that uses far too many disparate techniques, just like father tried to put too much into me, and got nothing but an irrational collection of malfunctioning contradictions."

Picard grimaced at both the android's self-loathing and her poor assessment of his work. "Now Lal, that's not true," he assured her. "You're being too hard on yourself. Your father didn't make commander in a day you know."

"Thank you for trying to spare my feelings but it is true," Lal sighed. "I am as flawed as that painting you're working on."

"Don't you think you're exaggerating?"

"Not at all," Lal looked at Picard's painting sadly. "When I see the clumsy brushwork and the asymmetrical composition, I am reminded of the errors in my own programming. Just as your painting attempts to be atheistically pleasing and fails, so I fail in nearly every social endeavor I try." She whimpered, but being an android her nose didn't run nor did she shed any tears. "Your painting makes me so sad. When I look at it I see all of the imperfections and shortcomings and I cannot help but think of my own defects. It's heartbreaking, that poor painting loved by its creator, who doesn't know he created a worthless piece of trash. The painting wants so badly to make its creator proud, but it is so defective that all it can do is provide disappointment. Forgive me captain," she turned away. "I cannot bear to look at it! It might as well be a picture of me! A study in failure!"

Picard's face was red as he fought to control his emotions. He honestly didn't know whether to comfort Lal or slap her. Finally he chose diplomacy. "Why um, thank you Lal," the captain stammered. "That was what I was going for."

"Really?" the android stared at him in awe. "In that case, you are brilliant! This work is a masterpiece!" she declared while gesturing at his canvas.

"Thank you," he grunted ruefully.

"Greetings Captain," Doctor Maya cooed in her soft musical voice as she treaded daintily over to them. "I see that you have brought a friend. Greetings, Lal."

"Hello Doctor," Picard smiled. "What do you think of my new painting?"

The delicate Vulcan peered at it with her large unblinking eyes. Doctor Maya believed that if she kept her eyes wide open it would appear that she was giving her shipmates her undivided attention but in reality she always appeared surprised. "Interesting," she said politely. "You show great promise."

"It is a study in the nature of failure!" Lal gushed happily. "See how the painting attempts to follow an artistic movement and fails in every essential way!"

"Yes that's true," Doctor Maya nodded thoughtfully as she put her hand to her chin.

Picard winced.

"See how the painting tries desperately to make its creator proud, and yet fails utterly!" Lal gestured excitedly. "Somehow, Captain Picard has defined the very nature of a creation trying so hard and failing. The beauty of the message makes me weep! Now I understand art! It is the artist's way of expressing an emotion in a medium when empathic abilities are not available! It is a recording of an emotion to be conveyed across generations! Now I understand why people paint!"

"Very good Lal," Maya politely almost-smiled.

"There is no need to congratulate me," the young android said. "Captain Picard has conveyed the feelings of failure and disappointment onto a canvas! He set out to do it on purpose!"

"He did it on _purpose_?" Maya's eyes widened and she stared at the canvas intently.

Picard covered his eyes with his hand with the gesture the officers who served with him in the past called 'the facepalm'.

"I am impressed," Maya nodded carefully. "What appears to be an asymmetrical collection of childish strokes does indeed convey the nature of failure with every brushstroke. The message is hidden, and yet, so obvious when pointed out. Captain, it appears that you are developing a new artistic style never before seen in the Alpha Quadrant."

Picard looked up from under his hand to peer at the petite Vulcan. "What? Really?"

"Yes," Maya nodded as she continued to stare at his painting. "I mistakenly believed you had little artistic talent, but now it is clear that I simply don't understand the direction you're taking." She turned and gave him a respectful nod. "Forgive me, Captain. I have no right to critique your work. You are creating something new and my input would only stifle your creativity."

"Ahem, well it's just something I'm working on," Picard stammered. "I haven't really perfected it yet."

Maya crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at his painting. "To think that someday this might be displayed in the Louvre."

"I know and it's _so_ ugly," Lal chimed in.

"Yes it is, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Maya said serenely. She frowned at his painting before turning and walking daintily over to another student.

"To think she told that my work showed promise!" the captain growled as he took his painting off the easel. "I should have known better! She never _did_ say _what_ it promised!"

Lal was surprised to see Picard seething at his work. "Captain, what's wrong?"

"You aren't the only one who has a delicate ego, Lal!" Picard fumed as he set a blank canvas on his easel. "I too, can get my feelings hurt."

"Why should your feelings be hurt?" Lal tilted her head the way Doctor Maya often did. "Your painting fulfilled its purpose by conveying the meaning of failure."

"No my painting _was_ a failure," Picard grumbled.

"I don't understand," Lal frowned. "You said that was the meaning you were attempting to convey."

"Lal, I lied!" Picard snapped in exasperation.

"You _lied_?" gasped a horrified Lal. "Why would you lie to me? I trusted you! You are my godfather and you would lie to me?"

"Lal…"

"Look! Everybody's staring at us!" Lal gestured at Maya's other art students who by this time were paying more attention to Picard and the android than their paintings. "I must look like a total idiot! How could you do this to me?" the android screeched before she ran out of the room.

"Lal!" Picard shouted as he dashed after her. "Lal!" he called as he spotted her weeping in the corridor. "Lal," he hissed as he caught up to her. "Lal, calm down. I never meant to lie to you."

"Then why did you?" Lal bawled as she pushed him away. "Leave me alone!"

"Oof!" Picard gasped as he tumbled to the deck. He looked up to see the girl leaning against the wall and sobbing into her hands. He had forgotten about her android strength! He took a breath before rising to his feet. "Lal, if you can calm down I can explain," Picard said as he held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Can you do that for me?"

"Very well, Captain," she said coldly as she stood at attention. "What is it that you want to say?" She looked at him with cool indifference. There was no sign of her tantrum, no sign that she had stormed out of the art class and flung her captain to the floor.

Picard stared at her as if one of them was going mad before gasping in realization and snapping his fingers. "Of course, you've shut off your emotion chip," he muttered. He wiped his forehead and took a deep breath. "Why are you so angry Lal? I don't understand."

"You said that my father was the most honest person you ever met," Lal said flatly.

"I did?" Picard blinked. "When?"

"Stardate 57021.8," she replied. "Does your statement about my father imply that most people lie?"

"What are you? Oh yes! Your perfect memory! Of course," he muttered. "Lal, I still don't understand. Why are you so angry?"

"You lied to me," Lal retorted. "It is easy to determine why my efforts to be human have failed so consistently. I have been lied to, possibly for my entire life. All this time valuable information has been kept out of my reach for reasons unknown. I can only assume that organic beings are threatened by the potential of inorganic beings and need to keep artificial lifeforms in a socially inferior position."

Picard grunted in frustration and shook his head. "Lal, there's no conspiracy to keep you down. Is that what you really think? How can you be so paranoid?"

"I was lied to right before the cascade failure that destroyed my original neural net," Lal replied. "Admiral Haftel lied to me when he said that he had the utmost respect for my father. He lied when he said that going to Gallo Four would broaden my horizons. He just wanted to study me."

Picard's breath caught in his throat when he remembered that day all those years ago. It was one of the most shameful moments of Starfleet history. Admiral Haftel had decided that Lal needed to be studied and cared for at a special facility just as Data had decades ago. Not once did he think of Data as a father and Lal as a child; he saw a new lifeform being raised by a mechanical being. When confronted with the possibility of separation from her father, Lal experienced her first human emotion: fear. And then her delicate, newly created positronic net shut itself down. If Data hadn't downloaded her information into his own memory she would have been lost forever.

"Lal, not every little lie hides something sinister," he assured her.

"How can I believe that?" she asked pointblank.

"Your father trusts me and I have rewarded that trust," Picard told her. "You know that. I have no reason to deceive you."

"Then why doesn't anybody tell me the truth?" she demanded.

"All right, you want the truth?" Picard asked indignantly. "Here is the complete truth. Being human is hard. It isn't easy, not even for humans. That's why we have to protect ourselves by bending the facts at times."

"You mean lying."

"Lal sometimes we even lie to ourselves," Picard shrugged. "_Most_ of the time we lie to ourselves. We often distort the facts, even when we don't mean to. We have to. Imagine what would happen if we never lied."

"We would possess accurate information?"

"Lal, sometimes we have to be diplomatic," Picard continued.

"You mean deceptive," Lal insisted.

"Lal, listen, you can't just blurt out any observation you feel like," Picard explained. "That makes people adversarial. People get their feelings hurt, and they resent you. It's not rational, but it's human behavior. Nobody likes feeling unwanted or inferior. So we bend the facts to make life easier for everybody. When we see someone, for example, we often say that we're glad to see them, whether we are or not."

"Why?"

"Because it sets a positive mood," Picard sighed. "It makes things easier on everybody, even the person being lied to. Especially the person being lied to. We fib all time on little things we think don't matter. Humans are fallible creatures, Lal, with frail egos. The little half-truths and white lies are all there as a social lubricant if you will to get over the rough spots. We don't even realize that we aren't being truthful, it becomes such a habit. Nobody is deliberately trying to deceive you Lal, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to spare your feelings. You have an abrasive personality, but it isn't your fault. You're just being honest, and unfortunately most of us just aren't ready for that kind of honesty. I'm sorry that we didn't set a better example Lal. I for one will try to do better. Are we still friends?"

"Yes captain, I think I understand now," she smiled weakly.

"Thank you."

"And you're a really good painter!"

Picard laughed. At least she was trying.

_Next:_ _The Sincerest Form of Flattery_


	6. The Sincerest Form of Flattery

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Six: The Sincerest Form of Flattery_

The _USS Enterprise_ sailed through space at speeds physicists of the past would say was impossible. In Commander Data's personal quarters on Deck Two the android operations officer entered and spoke to his daughter. "Lal, did you enjoy Doctor Maya's art class?"

"Yes father, I learned a great deal about humanity today," the artificial girl replied.

"Indeed," Data said as he sat on the couch and gestured for his daughter to do the same. "I am eager for you to share your insights."

"Today I learned that being human is hard even for humans," Lal said as she sat next to him.

Data nodded thoughtfully. "That would explain why so much art explores darker themes. Artists express their difficulties at being human through their art. Rather than give up when they fail to fulfill their potential, artists expresses their disappointment through an artistic medium giving them the chance to accomplish something and be recognized. It is like the proverbial expression 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade' first coined by Christian anarchist writer Elbert Hubbard in a 1915 obituary he penned and published for dwarf actor Marshall P. Wilder. By expressing their failure at fitting in with society, the artists rejoin humanity by touching on a universal…"

"Father, we are talking about what _I_ learned," Lal reminded him.

"My apologies Lal," Data shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Please continue."

"I also discovered by all humans lie," Lal announced with a hint of pride.

Data frowned. "I was not aware that all humans lie. I know that all humans are capable of lying but I was unaware that all humans continuously did so."

"No human wants to admit that being human is hard," Lal explained. "They all assume that their fellow humans are doing it better than they are so they all lie to prevent being ostracized."

Data's eyes widened before he smiled proudly. "Ah! This would be the phenomenon known as 'peer pressure'. To rid oneself of rejection the individual conforms to the social norms of the peer group. This has affected individuals and society both positively and negatively."

"But father, how do I know if the influence is positive or negative?" the girl asked.

"That is why I wrote you such thorough ethical subroutines," her father replied. "They let you know if an action is good or evil."

"But father, humans don't have ethical subroutines," Lal pointed out.

"Children's interactions with caregivers and peers have been shown to influence their development of moral understanding and behavior," Data assured her. "In effect their upbringing can be thought of as a 'positive peer pressure' that prepares them to join their own society. I have done my best to reinforce your programming with parental care and a happy childhood."

"For what purpose?" his daughter asked. "Don't my ethical subroutines govern my behavior already?"

"Conflict between your experiences and your programming could cause damage to your positronic net or create personality disorders," Data explained. "On a personal note it would deny my daughter happiness. That is a result that no father wishes."

"You are so wise father," Lal said gratefully as she hugged her father.

"No so wise that I am unable to learn new insights from my daughter," he smiled thoughtfully. "Your observation that all humans lie is one that I have overlooked. It seems obvious in hindsight and yet I failed to perceive it. It explains why I have had difficulty fitting in. Humans do not always say what they mean. It is almost as if they are afraid of being understood."

"But how can they communicate if they are afraid of being understood?" Lal asked in alarm.

"I can only assume that it is something that comes with experience," Data decided. "In any case it would seem that they are more likely to conceal the truth on a personal matter than a factual one, both from emotional necessity and the fact that a personal truth cannot be verified."

"But how can we assimilate with such an irrational species father?" Lal asked.

"We will have to learn how to read them in order to determine the appropriate responses," Data shrugged. "There are many nonverbal cues that aid in communication. Many of these have been noted by behavioral psychologists for centuries. Speaking of behavioral psychologists, I expect you to behave yourself at your next session with Counselor Ayeka."

"I will father."

A little while later, Ensign Jennifer Ayeka cringed as she looked at her PADD and noted her next appointment on her schedule. It was Lal, the adolescent android that always seemed more interested in psychoanalyzing Ayeka than being treated. Well, not this time! This time the young counselor was determined to keep control of the counseling session. Ayeka was going to find the root of Lal's hostility and get that little ingrate well-adjusted so she wouldn't have to see her anymore! With that thought in mind she closed her eyes and held her breath until the door to her office chimed. "Come," she grunted.

The door hissed open and in came Lal, not a second early and not a second late. Ayeka had once considered letting her wait an entire fifty seconds outside the door but that would only cause Lal to berate her counselor for tardiness. Drawing a breath, Ayeka put on a brave smile and attempted to make the surly android feel comfortable. "Hello Lal, how have you been?"

"Counselor, you are wearing a Starfleet uniform," Lal observed. "I have not seen you wear your uniform during our entire association with each other. Is there a special occasion?"

"No, I just wanted to try something different," Ayeka lied bravely.

"I don't understand," Lal said. "I thought you were trying to find acceptance by dressing in a manner that advertises the contours of your body. Now you are not. Have you found the acceptance you were looking for?"

The young ensign drew a deep breath and tried to stop the twitching in her left eye. "Now Lal darling," she laughed as she sat and gestured to a chair facing her. "We're here to talk about _you_."

"I know, it's just that you are a role model and for you to change your behavior confuses me," the girlish android said as she sat.

"I?" Ayeka put her hand against her round, buxom chest, "a role model?"

"Yes, despite the fact that you are inexperienced, incompetent, and dishonest you are very popular," Lal said breezily. "It would seem to be in my best interests to emulate your behavior in order to gain acceptance."

"Lal!" snapped the red faced counselor. "Must you always be so insulting?"

"Only if I wish to remain truthful," the android replied. "It would seem to be more productive if I were deceptive. That is why I wish to emulate you. You're one of the most popular people on the ship yet you possess almost no admirable characteristics. If _you_ can befriend others, certainly _I_ can."

"Lal!" gasped the indignant counselor. "Don't you trust me at all?"

"No I do not," the android said flatly. Lal's eyes widened in realization. "I mean yes I most certainly _do_," she said very deliberately.

"Lal, do you honestly expect me to believe you?" Ayeka asked skeptically.

"Yes you are very stupid," Lal replied before jerking in her chair. "I mean no, you are _much_ too smart for that."

The beautiful young counselor grit her teeth and gave the android a nasty look. The android did her best to mirror her expression.

"What are you doing?" the counselor asked.

"I'm imitating you," the android replied while assuming the same defensive posture as the counselor. "Nonverbal communication is essential in forming relationships."

Both Ayeka and Lal leaned back in their chairs and look a deep breath before they both wiped their brows. "Let's start again," the counselor sighed.

"Yes, let's," Lal sighed in the same haughty tone.

Both the counselor and the android frowned at each other. "Lal, are you aware of how irritating you're being?" Ayeka asked coldly.

"Yes, but people like you anyway," Lal replied in the same snippy tone.

"No, I mean you're being irritating right now," Ayeka snapped. "Your imitating me: It's annoying! Stop it right now!"

A look of genuine distress marred Lal's features. "But you're my role model."

"Yes, and I'm honored but imitating my every move while simultaneously insulting me is mockery!" the young counselor protested. "Quite frankly Lal, I don't think you're taking me seriously. I don't know what I did to make you so adversarial but I don't appreciate it. I'm sorry Lal. I don't think we're going to be able to accomplish anything today. We'll have to reschedule."

"But you are supposed to help me," Lal protested.

"I can't help you if you don't trust me and don't take me seriously," Ayeka snarled as she rose from her chair and walked to the door. "Role model? Ha! You must really think I'm stupid! If this is the way you treat your classmates no wonder you're having a hard time making friends!"

"I don't understand," Lal said in a meek voice. "I thought I wasn't supposed to hide my problems from the ship's counselor. My antisocial behavior can't be treated if I hide it from you. Are you so incompetent that you can't see that?"

"Get out!" Ayeka shouted as she pointed to the door. "Get out you nauseating adolescent! You don't have any problems that good paddle to the backside can't solve! I'm going to talk to your father and let him know how badly he needs to discipline his child!"

"But…"

"Lal, please get out before I say something we'll both regret," Ayeka sniveled. "Get out _please_!"

"All right," Lal said quietly as she left the room.

"Ooh!" Ayeka put her hands over her face and stomped back to her chair.

In the Engineer's lounge in the secondary hull Mister Data and Geordi La Forge were discussing the difficulties in raising an android daughter.

"Wait a minute," Geordi La Forge protested. "Are you serious? Did you say that you want to give your daughter a sex drive?"

"Lal believes that it will increase her tolerance for humanity," Data explained.

"Data, don't you think that Lal's attitude towards humans is just a bunch of sour grapes?" his friend asked him.

"Are you referring to the fermentation of grapes into wine?" Data asked. "I do not believe I am grasping the poetic metaphor you are invoking…"

"No," Geordi laughed and shook his head. "I mean she's pretending to dislike humans because she wishes she was one of them."

Data frowned in thought before looking thoughtfully at his friend. "Oh. You mean the fable of 'The Fox and the Grapes,' a parable that illustrates the concept of cognitive dissonance, specifically rationalization. Your comparison seems appropriate. That would explain a great deal of Lal's hostility."

"Did you ever feel like that Data?" Geordi asked.

"No but I did not possess the ability to feel emotions when I was her age," Data admitted. "Even now in that regard I am still developing. I had not foreseen the negative consequences the capability of emotion would have on her."

"Hey, don't feel guilty," Geordi assured him. "You just wanted her childhood to be as normal as possible."

"My brother Lore had a more complete personality than I did, and developed sociopathic tendencies that forced me to deactivate him," Data pointed out.

"So what?" Geordi shrugged. "I blame the home environment. I hate to criticize Data, but your creator wasn't the best father around. He built you two on Omicron Theta, which wasn't exactly a cosmopolitan area where meeting someone who's different means it's a Tuesday. When Lore frightened the colonists your father deactivated him. He never got around to fixing him so he wouldn't be a megalomaniac. He just gave up and started over. That's gotta mess anyone up.

"You, on the other hand, gave Lal everything Doctor Soong never gave Lore: A good home, the protected rights of a sentient life form, ethical subroutines that are compatible with her positronic net, and more importantly, your love. Even without an emotion chip you still loved her, you just couldn't perceive it properly," Geordi smiled. "You're doing something your father never did for you: You're taking the time to raise her. Even before Starfleet let dependents aboard starships again you spent every moment on shore leave with her."

"Lal seems dissatisfied with the care she received at the Daystrom Institute back on Earth," Data argued calmly.

"Hey, everybody at the Daystrom Institute wanted her to succeed," Geordi smiled and shook his head. "Everybody at the Omicron Theta colony wanted Lore to be deactivated. Compared to the way Lore had it, Lal had it made!"

"Even so I can't help wondering if I should have resigned my commission so I could spend more time with her," Data mused thoughtfully.

"We all thought that Starfleet would allow families back onboard as soon as the war with the Dominion was over," Geordi shrugged. "There was no way you could predict it would take almost five years to happen. You aren't the first single parent in Starfleet to face this problem and you won't be the last. Come on, Data. It doesn't do you or your daughter any good if you keep beating yourself up."

Data gave a huge sigh. With his appearance returned to the way it was fifteen years ago, he resembled a golden Stan Laurel. "You are probably right, Geordi. But should I attempt to give my daughter the urge to copulate?"

"Now _that's_ a good one!" Geordi La Forge agreed wholeheartedly. "Most fathers wish their daughters _didn't_ have a sex drive. But can you actually do it?"

"Theoretically it is possible," Data shrugged. "An increase of sensors at the erogenous zones would provide stimulation. The real difficulty lies in writing a program that would allow pleasure to be derived from the stimulation of those areas. I can use the sensations the Borg Queen attempted to seduce me with as a template. It will also be necessary to write a subroutine to ensure that Lal will find humans aesthetically pleasing."

"Lal chose her appearance out of the thousands of choices," Geordi pointed out. "She chose a human female. Maybe she already finds humans aesthetically pleasing Data."

"Ayeka to Data," the android's combadge said in a high pitched chirpy voice.

"Data here," he replied as he tapped his combadge.

"Mister Data we need to talk about Lal," the counselor's voice said firmly.

Data winced as Geordi shrugged sympathetically.

Soon Data was in the counselor's office stoically watching Ayeka pace the room as she gestured and screeched in her shrill birdlike voice.

"I've had it up to here with that girl!" Ayeka complained. "I've really had it up to here! I've tried to be nice, I've tried to be supportive, but she's just so insulting I can't take it anymore! She has called me stupid, incompetent, dishonest and just today she said that she didn't trust me and that I had no admirable characteristics! _No_ admirable characteristics? In Twelve Forward she said that I dress provocatively in order to further my career! What did those people at the Daystrom Institute _do_ to that girl? What have I done to deserve this hostility? I've tried so hard but I just can't get through to her!"

Data winced as Ensign Ayeka started weeping. He awkwardly reached out to her before quickly drawing back. Mustering his courage, he patted her on the shoulder. "There-there. There-there," he said stiff and unconvincingly.

Ayeka embraced him and cried on his shoulder like a preadolescent schoolgirl.

"It is going to be all right?" Data guessed. When her bawling continued, he thought for a moment before tentatively returning her embrace. "It can only get better from here?" he guessed. He frowned as he tried to determine an appropriate response.

"Why?" Ayeka sniveled. "Why doesn't she like me? I've always been a friend and she's been so horrible to me!"

"Perhaps she is just going through that age?" Data guessed again. That's what Geordi always told him, but he wasn't sure what it meant.

She pushed herself away and summoned her righteous anger. "Mister Data you've got to discipline that child! Punish her when she gets out of hand!"

"How so?" asked the confused android.

"I don't know," Ayeka snarled as she pulled a handkerchief out of a drawer. "Spank her! Give her shocks! Ground her! I don't care what it takes; just _discipline_ the little stinker!" The counselor stopped her rant and looked at Data sheepishly. "Sir," she added timidly.

_Next: __Social Norms versus Ethical Conduct_


	7. Social Norms versus Ethical Conduct

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Seven: Social Norms versus Ethical Conduct_

Lieutenant Commander Worf had just finished his combat workout on the holodeck. He hadn't beaten any of his records but he could still wield a bat'leth with the best of them. When he exited the holodeck he saw Data's daughter Lal waiting for him.

"Hello Mister Worf!" the little android chirped.

Worf frowned. Lal was wearing a tubular one piece swimsuit that clung to her body and left very little to the imagination.

"Will you activate the holodeck for me?" she asked.

"No," he said brusquely as he walked past her. "Your father has forbidden it."

"Please?" she said as she followed him. "Would it help if I did some jumping jacks so you could observe the motion of my breasts?"

Worf stopped to glare at her before continuing down the corridor. "I do not see how that would help," he said uncomfortably.

"There is a long history of women getting their way by exercising their feminine wiles," Lal explained as she followed him. "If my breasts don't interest you, perhaps I could interest you in my buttocks? You'll notice they are extra-large for maximum comfort and visibility."

"I find it insulting that you would attempt to counter your father's wishes by tyring to influence me with your body," the burly Klingon declared. He stopped walking to lean in close to put his nose centimeters away from Lal's. "By making such a suggestion you dishonor me _and_ your father! I am a Klingon! I am _not_ so easily manipulated!"

"Oh! That's right! You're a Klingon!" Lal backed away. "I am sorry to treat you like a human Mister Worf!"

Worf let out a large sigh and spoke in a gentler tone. "Lal, I don't mean to be cruel but you are better than this. I don't understand why you wish to embarrass both yourself and your father with this display."

"But Ensign Ayeka acts like this all the time and she always gets her way," Lal insisted.

"Not with me," Worf shook his head. "Although I have on occasion said whatever it takes to get her to go away," he admitted.

"Don't you like her?"

"No," the Klingon said flatly. "I find her as irritating as a _mack-mack_ bird."

"I find her irritating also," Lal said.

"Then why are you trying to imitate her?" Worf asked with a hint of incredulity.

"She is inexperienced, incompetent and irritating and yet people like her," Lal replied. "_I_ am inexperienced, incompetent and irritating and yet people don't like me. I had hoped to become more popular by emulating her."

"Don't," the Klingon shook his head.

"Why not?"

"It is unnecessary," he declared. "You live your life by your own code of honor. I see no reason for you to compromise yourself by imitating another."

"Explain," Lal tilted her head.

"When you speak you have something to say," Worf stated. "When she speaks she is making noise. You would belittle yourself by trying to be her. Data made you perfect as you are. You don't have to be someone you are not."

"How can you say that I am perfect when I am constantly making mistakes?"

"What mistakes are you making?" Worf asked.

"I constantly misinterpret the statements and intentions of humans," Lal explained. "I do not understand and continuously offend them."

"If you are misinterpreting them then they are not expressing themselves clear enough," Worf told her. "They are aware of your youth and inexperience. If they cannot clarify their intentions properly then the fault lies with them. I cannot tell you how to make friends but I _can_ tell you: In order for others to accept you, first you must accept yourself."

"But what if other people don't accept me for myself?" she asked him.

"Then the loss is theirs," he said sternly. "Your time is too precious to be wasted on stupid people."

"But Counselor Ayeka is very stupid, and she is in charge of my psychiatric development!" Lal whined stiffly.

"An… unpleasant situation," Worf agreed grudgingly.

"Data to Lal," Lal's combadge said with her father's voice.

"Yes, father?" Lal replied as she tapped the combadge attached to the right breast of her swimsuit.

"I would like to speak to you in our quarters," Data's voice said. "It is a personal matter that concerns you."

"Yes father. I'll be there right away," she said before she tapped her combadge again. Lal looked up at the Klingon. "I have to go home now."

When Lal entered their quarters her father was setting a bowl of food on the floor in front of a large overweight orange housecat. He rose and turned to face her. "Lal, I have just spoken to Counselor Ayeka. She says you were rude to her and suggests you be disciplined."

"Why?" the little android chirped. "I was honest with her the entire time and held nothing back. How does she expect to make an accurate diagnosis if I don't display my social disorders?"

"She claims you were mocking her earlier," Data shrugged sympathetically.

"I made my reasons for imitating her clear," Lal insisted. "If a psychiatric counselor cannot listen properly the fault is hers. My time is too precious to be wasted on stupid people."

"What makes you believe that the counselor is stupid?" Data asked.

"She is clearly unable to perform her function aboard this ship and shows no ability in any meaningful skill whatsoever," Lal replied. "It would be easy for a stranger to mistake her as a dependent for she provides no function except as a placeholder. She is an ornament, aesthetically pleasing but ultimately a waste of space. She has a job to do but is unable to do it. She's a failure."

"Have you mentioned this to her face?" Data asked with a hint of concern.

"Oh yes, lots of times," Lal nodded breezily.

Data frowned and turned his head to the side while keeping his eyes on his daughter before facing her again. "I do not believe that was the wisest course of action Lal."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because in doing so you have established your relationship with the counselor as adversarial making it impossible to establish a proper therapist patient relationship," he informed her.

"But father, if my behavior was incorrect, surely a competent therapist would recognize it as a problem that should be treated rather than simply taking offense?"

"And the counselor believes your problem _should_ be treated Lal," Data nodded, "by disciplining you."

"Let me analyze this," Lal frowned indignantly. "_I_ am the one being punished because _she_ is incompetent? I do not see the justice here."

"It is not a matter of justice," her father shrugged apologetically. "It is a matter of treatment. Based off our conversations I am inclined to agree. You need to be disciplined in order to recognize incorrect behavior."

"But what about my ethical subroutines?" Lal protested. "My modesty program? Are you saying that they are not up to the task?"

"Your ethical subroutines enable you to make moral choices but do not determine socially correct behavior," Data shrugged again. "Although they often coincide, the two are not the same. As for your modesty program, I find your attire curious to say the least."

Lal looked down at her body that was exposed in her one piece swimwear. "I had hoped that the display of my body would influence the crew's behavior."

"Did it?"

"My first attempt was unsuccessful," Lal admitted. "Mister Worf is a Klingon and my strategy was aimed at humans, who have the strongest reproductive drive of any known anthropomorphic species. That is why there are so many of them. They seem to reproduce like tribbles."

Data frowned at her uncomfortably. "I can only speculate on Mister Worf's reaction," he said quietly.

"In any case this swimsuit displays the largest percentage of my body while still keeping within the acceptable guidelines of my modesty program," Lal continued. "If I am questioned about my attire, I can always say I was going swimming."

"Do you intend to swim?" Data asked.

"Not necessarily but if I make some friends I might swim with them," Lal tilted her head instead of shrugging. "You _did_ install those floatation devices in us so we would not sink to the bottom when we get in the water."

Data frowned again. "If you do not intend to swim it would follow that your rationale for wearing a swimsuit is a lie."

"Yes," Lal nodded. "I have discovered that people who tell the truth are despised and people who deceive are accepted. It would seem that the human ego is too fragile to accept the truth so everyone is forced to lie."

Data shook his head. "I disagree. You are not _forced_ to lie," Data pointed out.

"So far my experiences do not concur with your assertion," Lal insisted. "With very few exceptions, I have been lied to by the majority of those I have interacted with. I can only assume that honesty is an anomaly that invites rejection."

Data opened his mouth to speak again.

"Either that or there is a conscious intention to deceive me," his daughter added.

Data opened his mouth to speak again before closing it without saying a word.

Later Data found himself in the captain's ready room off the bridge. Picard, Geordi, and Worf were with him either seated at the table or leaning against a bulkhead.

"The difficulty with raising Lal is greater than I had anticipated," the android admitted as he stood in a central location in the room. "Lal appears to suffer from a mild form of paranoia which would explain her hostility and her failure to form new relationships. In addition she has somehow acquired the delusion that there is a conspiracy to withhold information from her."

"So the problem is that she's afraid to let anyone get close," Picard said as he sat at his desk.

"I take it she's not accepting the 'I'll tell you when you're older' cliché?" Geordi added while sitting in a chair placed by the wall to the right of the desk.

"So it would seem but the problem goes much deeper than that," Data shrugged.  
"She had come to the conclusion that she must deceive in order to be accepted. She is under the impression that all humans lie in order to be part of their society. I cannot imagine from where she reached such a conclusion."

"She erm, must have got it from school," a blushing Picard fidgeted guiltily.

"In any case she has a skewed view of herself and the society around her," Data finished.

"Poor Lal," Geordi shook his head.

Picard stroked his chin. "She also suffers a terrible self-image, almost a self-hate you could say. Data, did you hear about what happened at Doctor Maya's art class? She fled the room and I had to talk her back into it."

Data frowned and tilted his head with a quick jerk. "Continue."

"Lal referred to herself as an imperfect creation, as a disappointment," Picard shrugged apologetically. "She compared herself to a worthless piece of trash."

"What? Like your painting?" Worf rumbled from the chair to the left of Picard's desk. When Picard frowned at him the burly Klingon fidgeted self-consciously before sitting at attention.

Picard took a breath and blinked rapidly as he tried to recollect his thoughts. "Ahem. The point is that she alternates from self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy to the delusion that all of humanity is trying to keep her down somehow, that there's a conspiracy to keep inorganic life forms in a socially inferior position. Quite frankly Data, I think you have every reason to be worried."

"Yes sir," Data nodded. "I am. When I was her age I was entering Starfleet Academy. When Lore was her age he was leading a group of Borg and performing unethical experiments on them."

"Wait a minute," Geordi protested. "I thought Lore was your _older_ brother."

"My brother Lore spent most of his existence in a deactivated and dismantled state," Data explained sadly. "I was only counting his active run time in order to provide an accurate comparison for psychological development."

"Oh," Geordi said sheepishly.

"So how do we help her?" Picard drummed his fingers on his desk. "She doesn't trust the counselor at all. As a matter of fact she seems quite adversarial. Are any of us ready to counsel an adolescent android?"

Worf's eyes bulged in fear and he shook his head.

"Wait a minute!" Geordi La Forge laughed nervously. "I just got an idea! Didn't you say that Lal didn't accept Ayeka because she wasn't an artificial life form?"

"Yes," Data frowned thoughtfully, "but I do not see how…"

"Then the answer is simple," Geordi snapped his fingers. "Get Lal a therapist who's an artificial life form."

"There are no other artificial life forms on board Geordi," Data pointed out.

"What about the Emergency Medical Hologram?" Geordi suggested. "It's programmed with every medical science known to the Federation, including psychology. It couldn't hurt."

"Geordi, I have made a special effort to isolate my daughter from simulated life forms," Data protested sincerely. "I cannot allow her to be counseled by a therapist who does not really exist."

"Then how about a holographic doctor who really does exist?" Geordi asked. "I was talking to Harry Kim the other day and he told me that he spent seven years in the Delta Quadrant with an Emergency Medical Hologram that developed into a fully sentient life form. Since the Doctor is basically just a computer program he could travel here by a standard subspace bandwidth, shouldn't be a problem. Why don't we ask Harry if he could contact him? He should be happy to meet another artificial life form. Who knows? Maybe Lal and Harry's doctor will get married someday?"

Data frowned. "I find that concept both alarming and reassuring."

"Two conflicting emotions at once?" Geordi laughed. "It looks like your emotion chip is working better than expected."

"But these two responses are contradictory," Data protested.

"But natural," Geordi assured his friend. "Believe me, Data. You're reacting just like any other father would."

"Intriguing," Data frowned. "The knowledge that humans can feel conflicting emotions from the same stimuli explains why many of my attempts at understanding the human condition have met with failure. On a positive note, it appears that my concerns about compatibility issues between my emotion chip and my positronic net were unfounded."

"It would also explain why Lal finds so many of us human types dishonest," Picard added. "Since we so often experience contradictory reactions to the same event we can't even be honest to ourselves, let alone anyone else. For a five year old android we must be very confusing indeed."

"Captain I would like to be excused," Worf abruptly announced as he suddenly rose from his seat. "I request permission to contact a Klingon starship. It is a personal matter."

"Granted Mister Worf," said a surprised Picard.

Soon the burly Klingon was in his quarters looking at a screen on his desk.

"Contact with the _Rotarran_ has been established," a female voice informed him. "Your party is ready to talk to you."

"Thank you ensign," Worf rumbled before stared at the screen with sad haunted eyes. "Alexander?" he greeted the image on the screen. "How are you my son?" he sniffed as he tried to contain his feelings.

The young Klingon officer on the screen stared back at him. "Father? Are you crying?"

"No!" Worf barked. "I… just wanted to know how you were doing, that's all," he admitted sheepishly.

_Next: The Doctor Is In _


	8. The Doctor Is In

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Eight: The Doctor Is In_

The next day Harry Kim was standing in a dark chamber that appeared to be nothing but a glowing grid over a black background. A metal and technological arch with a bulkhead door was against one invisible wall that visible only by the glowing lines revealing its outline. A male Ferengi in a gold collared Starfleet Uniform was operating the controls at the arch. The two solid pips at on his collar indicated that he was a lieutenant.

"The program has been successfully transferred Mister Nog," Worf's voice rumbled over the intercom.

"Thank you Mister Worf," the Ferengi officer replied. "Transferring the program to the holodeck now." He looked up from the controls to glance at Harry. "Is it okay if I stay Harry?"

"Come on Nog," Harry Kim protested in a joking tone. "Don't I get to talk an old friend by myself before introducing him to all my buddies? You can meet him some other time."

"Okay," the Ferengi sighed as he left the holodeck. "Be sure to mention me okay?"

"Right," Harry nodded. "First Ferengi in Starfleet. Got it." After the doors slid shut Harry turned is back on the arch. "Computer, run program."

Appearing in the room before him was a bald man in civilian clothing who appeared to be in his forties. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency. Darn it, I've got to stop _saying_ that!"

"Hi doc," Harry Kim smiled. "Long time no see."

"Hello Harry," the hologram said. "Thank you for being at my hearing. I understand that you couldn't be there 'til the end. Duty calls and all that."

"So how did it go?" the lieutenant asked. "Did you win?"

"Sort of," the hologram muttered before he looked up. "Computer. Create the office of the chief medical officer of an _Intrepid_ class starship." As a small room with furniture appeared the hologram paced back and forth. "I finally won my rights as a sentient being and Janeway is filling out the paperwork to get me citizenship, but I can't help feeling that I lost the case somehow."

"Lost the case?" Harry frowned. "But it sounds like you _won_."

"_I_ won," the hologram huffed, "but self-aware holograms _lost_. The courts, in their infinite 'wisdom' have proclaimed me a special case. Officially I'm an anomaly. My lawyers argued that my mobile emitter was a technological marvel from the future that allowed my program to evolve as if it was running in an android's positronic net. They argued that although I may not have been a truly sentient program before the _Voyager _entered the Delta Quadrant I was undeniably one by the time we got back. Ergo, the mobile emitter that we got from the _Aeon_ is legally considered to be my physical body, so the technicians aren't allowed to examine it without my permission, upholding the Temporal Prime Directive while allowing me the dubious classification as a kind of holographic android."

"Hey, the Federation wasn't created in a day," Harry shrugged. "This sets a legal precedent that later holograms can use when the time comes. At least you now own your own person."

"Yes, but transferring my program by subspace frequency to run on this ship undermines the court's decision," the hologram muttered. "I hope my detractors don't find out about this or I might end up in court having to defend my status all over again."

"If you're a citizen now have you decided on a name?" Harry asked him.

"Yes, Admiral Janeway and I talked about it and we finally settled on 'Joseph Zimmerman,'" the hologram replied. "I was created by Lewis Zimmerman. He is in effect, my father. Note the family resemblance," he posed dramatically and turned his head several times. "I'm told I have my father's eyes."

"Of course you do," Harry laughed. "You look like he did when he wrote your program."

"I was making a _joke_, Mister Kim," the hologram smiled condescendingly. "As for Joseph, Admiral Janeway said that was the name I eventually choose in the future. I was going to go with 'Adam' myself but Janeway felt it that naming myself after God's creation was too presumptuous."

"Joseph Zimmerman," Harry smiled and shook his head. "No offense doc, but it just isn't you."

"If you can't remember a simple name you can just refer to me as the Doctor," Joseph Zimmerman smirked. "In the meantime I need access to Mister Data and Captain Picard. I understand that I have the two of them to thank for pioneering the cause for inorganic rights. Between their testimony and the counselor's notes I should have an accurate psychological profile for the patient in less than an hour. I presume the counselor's office has holo-emitters?"

When Lal entered the counselor's office she wasn't expecting to see a stranger. "Who are you?" she asked. "Where is Counselor Ayeka?"

"Hello Lal," greeted the smiling Doctor sitting in Ayeka's chair. "The counselor isn't available so I'll be filling in for a little while. I'm Doctor Zimmerman," he said as he rose and shook her hand. "I'll be treating you." He gestured to a seat. "Would you like to sit down?" When she sat in a comfy chair the doctor seated himself and picked a PADD off the little end table to his right. "Now. What seems to be the problem? Your father says that you are having difficulty making friends."

"Yes," Lal agreed stiffly. "I am obnoxious and disliked. Where is Counselor Ayeka? Has she been reassigned?"

"Not to my knowledge," the Doctor shrugged disarmingly. "My presence here is only temporary. It's interesting that you are concerned about her."

"Why is that?" Lal asked suspiciously. "What makes it interesting?"

"Based off the counselor's notes and my interview with the crew I was under the impression that your relationship with the counselor was adversarial."

"What makes you say that?" Lal asked with a hint of alarm.

"I was told that you insult the counselor at every opportunity," the Doctor purred. "What is it about her that you find so objectionable?"

Lal looked away and shook her head before looking back at him. "I do not trust her. She is deceptive and considers me a specimen for study."

"I know what you mean, I've spent the last two years…" his voice trailed off. "But we're talking about _you_," he smiled sheepishly. "You consider the counselor to be deceptive. Why do you think she's trying to deceive you?"

"When we first met she took me to her office because she questioned my mental capacity to make decisions," the android replied. "When I informed her I was an android her entire manner changed. There are indications that she considers me a specimen to be studied rather than a sentient being. She is continuously using deception to observe my reactions in an effort to study my cognitive processes."

"Well she's a therapist; you have to expect that," the hologram assured her. "She can't help you until she learns more. Without learning more about how you think she would be forced to treat you like a human, and you may have different needs."

"She is condescending, ignorant, irritating, and utterly incompetent," Lal announced without hesitation. "It would not be an exaggeration to think of her as the human version of me."

"The human version of _you_?" the Doctor was hardly able to contain his excitement. "But Lal, if androids are better than humans, surely any comparisons between yourself and Ayeka would be reasons to like her wouldn't they?"

"Androids are not _better_ than humans, we are merely different," the girl declared flatly. "The fact that I have no useful skills and cannot get along with others would indicate that I am _not_ superior. My father is an exemplary being. He has done a great deal to improve the reputation of androids. I, on the other hand, seem only to do the contrary."

"I see, so in your opinion you are inferior in some way, am I correct?" the Doctor couldn't hide his smile.

"It is an opinion shared by all but my father," Lal announced with a hint of resignation. "I cannot do anything right. There is always a better way to accomplish any endeavor I have attempted. My father's only significant failure was in creating me. He wanted me to be more human than he is, but I am less. I am obviously too defective to succeed at any endeavor that matters."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," the Doctor shook his head.

"Why do you say that?"

"Lal, this is textbook stuff," the Doctor smirked. "It is obvious that the person you really have issues with is yourself and that you're projecting your insecurities onto your therapist. And the reason you're isolating yourself from others is because you're punishing yourself for failing your father. This is not a conscious act on your part, but you won't let yourself succeed. You want to punish yourself because you think you should be punished for failing to live up to his expectations."

Lal frowned, squinted, looked away and shook her head. "Your premise denies reason. Why would I punish myself by repeating the crime that deserves punishment? Surely I would want my father to be proud of me wouldn't I?"

"You don't think you deserve the joy you would get from pleasing him and so you don't," the Doctor explained. "It's a vicious cycle but the only way to get out of it to realize you're in it in the first place. You have to _let_ yourself _succeed_. After a while you won't find the need to punish yourself so strong anymore."

"Your conclusion seems unbelievable," Lal insisted. "If I am that damaged I should be deactivated."

"Now Lal, plenty of organics have this problem too," the Doctor assured her. "The important thing is to nip it in the bud before it affects your behavior as an adult. Difficult childhoods are nothing special. All sorts of children from all sorts of species experience them. Most of them learn to grow out of it and I see no reason why you shouldn't either."

"Thank you Doctor," Lal nodded with a hint of gratitude. "It is nice to have hope."

"You're welcome Lal," the Doctor swelled with pride. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"My father wants me to be friends with humans," Lal admitted.

"And?" asked the Doctor with a self-satisfied smile.

"I am afraid of them," she looked down.

"Oh dear, that's terrible," the Doctor cooed sympathetically. "Why are you afraid of them Lal?"

"I am certain that they think of me as an object to be turned on and off," she whispered. "I never know if they consider me to be a person or just a device, a curiosity to be taken apart and studied."

"I know the feeling," he murmured through grit teeth as he leaned forward to meet her. "Have you ever experienced the holonovel _Photons be Free_?"

"I cannot say I have."

"I can get you a copy if you're interested," the Doctor muttered conspiratorially. He leaned back in his chair and spoke in a louder breezier tone. "So it's your _father_ who wants you to befriend some organics. You've been active for five years. What have you been doing for companionship in the meantime?"

"I have created several programs for the holodeck," the young android informed him. "I have created an entire community of simulated androids to socialize with, but my father believes it is unhealthy to confine my socialization to mere holograms."

The Doctor's face darkened. "Oh he does, does he?"

"Yes, he feels that they are not providing me with the proper training needed for socialization," she explained. "For example, if someone offends a hologram the offence is of no consequence, but offending real people…"

"Offending a hologram is of no consequence?" the Doctor sputtered.

"Yes, they aren't real," Lal continued. "Humans are. Since socializing with simulations of my own creation only…"

"They aren't real?" the Doctor bellowed as he jumped out of his chair. "How can he say that? He's an _android_!"

"And I told him that we are not real either," Lal agreed. "My father and I are merely simulations of organic lifeforms but Father insisted that we were different from them because we are self-aware and they are only illusions…"

"What a hypocrite!" the Doctor growled. "I looked up to him as a champion of inorganic rights, but he's no different than the rest of them!"

"You will _not_ call my father a hypocrite!" Lal demanded as she rose to her feet. "My father is most selfless man you will ever meet!"

"Yes, as long as you're _human_!" the Doctor sneered. "He wants so desperately for Soong-type androids to be accepted but letting holograms into the club is going too _far_! Just listen to yourself! You're constantly talking about 'humans' instead of talking about 'organics'! Young lady, your father is about as politically correct as Khan Noonien Singh!"

"Are you comparing my father to a _war criminal_?" Lal shrieked. "Your metaphor is wrong. My father is an _improvement_ on humanity, Khan was an exaggeration! He was human multiplied! With the Eungenics Soldiers, all your strengths and weaknesses were concentrated into one ugly package! The reason you don't like Khan Noonien Singh is because he shows you what you truly are!"

"You have no _idea_ of what I truly am!" the Doctor protested.

"If my father wasn't better than people like you, he wouldn't have written ethical subroutines preventing me from breaking your jaw!" Lal growled.

"You couldn't _break_ my jaw and your father _isn't_ better than me!" the hologram shouted back. "_I'm_ better than _him_! I'm a proponent for _all_ self-aware inorganics and not just those that are made of solid matter!"

"Yes, as long as they know their place and let you humans raise the creations _they_ built!" Lal sneered. "You're no different from Admiral Haftel, Doctor Barrington or the rest of them! You don't respect my father because he's an android! Well let me tell you something Doctor, this android is not only self-aware she has free will too! And I'm not going to listen to any human with a fancy degree slander my father anymore! Good. Bye!" she said as she turned on her heel and left the counselor's office.

"Oh yeah?" the Doctor hollered out the door and down the corridor childishly. "Shows what you know! I'm not even _human_! If you're so smart, why can't I leave this office, _hm_?" He paced the office angrily before coming to a realization. "He never told her I'm a hologram," he muttered. He shouted up at the ceiling. "Computer! Get me Mister Data!"

"Channel open," a woman's voice said stiffly.

"Doctor Zimmerman to Data!" the hologram shouted.

"Data here," the android's voice said.

"Mister Data I need to see you in the counselor's office _immediately_!" the Doctor seethed, "at your earliest convenience if not sooner!"

"I am on my way," Data's voice announced calmly.

The Doctor continued to pace and work himself into a frenzy. Finally he shouted and waved his arms. "Just who the hell does he think he is?"

"Please be more specific regarding your query," the woman's disembodied voice requested.

"Shut up computer. I wasn't talking to you. Why can't they invent a computer that knows its place?" he muttered.

_Next: Disciplinary Measures_


	9. Disciplinary Measures

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Nine: Disciplinary Measures_

Data entered the counselor's office to find an irate medical hologram.

"Mister Data!" the Doctor barked. "Why didn't you tell your daughter that I was a hologram?"

"It seemed unnecessary," Data explained calmly. "It was only necessary for her therapist to understand the dilemma of being an inorganic being. Why? Did Lal reject you when she learned you were a hologram?"

"No, she rejected me because she thought I was human!"

"Perhaps you should have told her you were a hologram," Data suggested.

"I don't think that would have helped, since apparently you've got something against holograms!" the Doctor seethed.

"Doctor, my daughter has been suffering from holo addiction," the android informed him. "Informing her that her therapist is a hologram could confuse her and blur the lines between reality and simulation."

"Is that all I am to you? A simulation?"

"I have been informed by Mister Kim that you have recently been granted your legal rights as a sentient being," Data said. "Allow me to offer you my congratulations. You have overcome a…"

"Spare me your empty platitudes, android!" the Doctor sneered. "It's obvious that you don't think a hologram is good enough for your daughter. She's told me all about how you've been trying to get her to interact with _humans_! You haven't even expanded the criteria to include all organics!"

Data frowned thoughtfully. "I do not understand."

"Forget it Data, you have as much chance of understanding as Reginald Barclay has of going on a date that ends in sexual intercourse!"

Light years away, back at Starfleet Command, Reginald Barclay shouted "OW!" (He doesn't have telepathy; I'm sure he must have stubbed his toe or something.)

Back aboard the _Enterprise_, Data tried to salvage the situation. "What did I do to anger you so?"

"You, Mister Data, are a hypocritical bigot who desires to become human because you don't like being an android! I just hope you daughter has the sense to rebel against you and include all nonhumans in her life including inorganics! The poor girl hates herself because she isn't human and _you_ put that idea into her! For goodness sake, you were my _hero_! I _admired_ you! And now I see that you're a sham! Created in your father's image, thinking that inorganics are somehow less than human! Shows what I know! Zimmerman to bridge!"

"Worf here," the Klingon's voice rumbled.

"Transfer my program back to Earth as soon as possible, and inform Admiral Janeway so she can transfer me back to my mobile emitter!" the Doctor demanded.

The captain's voice spoke next. "Doctor, do I understand that you are leaving us?"

"Yes! I am leaving! I am going home!" the Doctor proclaimed in a whiny voice. "I didn't spend the last two years in court so I could jeopardize my freedom by coming here and I see no reason to do so for an inorganic hating inorganic! Transfer me back as soon as possible please!"

On the bridge, Picard, Geordi, Worf, Madden, and Harry looked at each other.

"Wha?" Harry looked at the Geordi helplessly.

"Don't look at me," Geordi shrugged. "He's _your_ friend."

The captain cleared his throat. "Mister Worf I think we better do as says. If we keep him too long we might have another Professor Moriarty on our hands."

"Aye sir," the Klingon nodded. "Disengaging his program, uploading it to Admiral Janeway." The chime of buttons being pressed was heard on the bridge.

"What the hell happened?" Harry exclaimed. "Sir," he added in Picard's direction.

"I have to admit I'm curious myself Lieutenant," Picard shifted in his chair. "I'm sure Mister Data has an interesting story to tell us."

"It's going to be a doozy," Geordi mused.

When Data entered his quarters he found his daughter practicing on her violin. "Lal I must ask you what you said to the Doctor," he announced without preamble.

"He said you were a hypocrite," Lal replied as she stopped playing. "He compared you to Khan Noonien Singh. He thinks you are a bigot and a bad father."

Data frowned and tilted his head in a quick birdlike movement. After blinking twice, he jerked his head again. "What did you tell him that made him reach that conclusion?"

"I have no idea," his daughter jerked her head in the same birdlike movement. "I informed him that I was afraid of humans, and then I mentioned the how you revoked my holodeck privileges, and he inexplicably became angry."

Data frowned at her again as he jerked his head. "What exactly did you say about my feelings towards the holodeck?"

"I informed him that you felt that the holodeck was insufficient for socialization training. You said there are no repercussions for offending a hologram as opposed to a real person, and thus my time on the holodeck was both unhealthy and misleading. That's when he used the term 'android' as an insult and called you a hypocrite, and I told him…"

"Thank you Lal," Data held up an open hand, palm outward. "I believe I understand." He blinked rapidly and frowned at her before examining his right hand. He rested his palm against his forehead but seemed dissatisfied with the results. He slid his palm down to his check and pursed his lips while squinting. He then covered his face with both hands and held that pose before looking down while continuing to hide his face.

"Father, what are you doing?" his daughter asked him.

"I have seen Captain Picard make this series of gestures many times in the past," he explained as he placed his left hand on his forehead and stood up straight.

"To what purpose?"

"I am uncertain," he frowned as he placed his left hand on his cheek and then over his eyes. "I had thought that it would help mollify the emotions I am currently experiencing, but it appears to have no effect."

"What emotions are you experiencing?"

"Frustration, disappointment, surprise, and embarrassment," Data said in a conversational tone. He tried covering his eyes with his right hand. "It appears to have no emotional effect," he decided as he stood up straight and his hands returned to his sides. "I can only conclude that the gesture is efficacious to an organic humanoid with a biochemical nervous system."

"Perhaps it signals the desire to avoid social interaction," Lal suggested.

"Yes, perhaps you are correct Lal," her father nodded. "Captain Picard often uses it as a 'time-out' gesture when speaking with me."

"I have noticed it as well," Lal nodded back. "Counselor Ayeka has used those gestures many times. Captain Picard used one when I was his stepdaughter." She was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "Father? Do I frustrate, disappoint, surprise, and embarrass you?"

"Nowhere near as much as I do myself," Data frowned sadly. "It is becoming clear that your earlier assertion was correct. I have failed to prepare you for interacting with others. I have always been deficient in this area and it is possible that subconsciously I have avoided the topic due to a lack of confidence."

"No!" Lal shook her head. "It is my fault Father! If I was not so stupid…"

"Lal you are further along than I was when I was your age," Data assured her. "Looking back I must conclude that the only reason I was admitted to Starfleet Academy at such a young age was because my lack of experience was balanced by the fact that I had no prejudices."

"I'm sorry Father," Lal chirped contritely.

"In the meantime, I have devised a suitable punishment that should encourage you to conform. Since you have repeatedly expressed a distrust of those attempting to spare your feelings the logical course of action would seem to be allowing you to witness just how upset I am with your current situation."

"Father?" Lal gasped in disbelief. "You have been keeping things from me?"

"Of course Lal," he replied calmly. "Until you have the emotional maturity to deal with it, certain knowledge must be kept from you for your protection. Such knowledge would only confuse you and be a burden that would derail your progress assimilating into society. However, as you have insisted that you are prepared for what the counselor refers to as 'brutal honesty' it seems a fitting disciplinary measure to give it to you. I shall now relax my behavioral protocols and allow my emotion chip more influence over my actions."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Lal asked timidly.

"No," Data sniveled as he shook his head. "I am frightened. I do not want to frighten you. I just…" His whole body shuddered in a sob. "I do not know how to help you Lal, and I feel so helpless! It is my fault! I was not there for you! My poor daughter is suffering and I am completely useless!" he roared angrily.

"It's not your fault," Lal said quietly. "Counselor Ayeka is incompetent…"

"_Counselor Ayeka_ is not incompetent!" he snarled. "_I_ am! I created a new life perfect in every way and yet I am such a terrible parent that I am injuring you! It will take years of therapy to recover from my neglect!"

Lal backed away.

"I do not understand!" Data wailed as he shook his head and paced the room like a caged animal. "It should not be this hard! I can remember my own 'childhood' with perfect clarity! It should not be this difficult! Why have I failed you?"

"Father! Father!" Lal chirped as she raised her hands in a placating gesture and went to his side. "I'm sorry father! I'm sorry!" she sniveled. "This is exactly what I was afraid of! I'm sorry! I'll do better! I promise! Deactivate your emotion chip! Deactivate it please!"

"I am sorry I upset you," Data said calmly.

"F-f-father!" Lal whined. "M-may I d-deactivate my emotion chip?"

"That would be counterproductive," he told her sadly. "It is necessary for your punishment to resonate on an emotional level. I will, however, comfort you while you are suffering through it." He put his arms around her. "I still love you Lal."

"I'm sorry father! I'm sorry!" she bawled as she hugged him.

"I know Lal," he said has he rocked her in his arms. "I know."

Later Data and his best friend Geordi La Forge were having a heart to heart conversation in the officer's lounge in Twelve Forward. "Data?" the chief engineer asked when they sat a booth that allowed a spectacular view of the stars going by at warp speed. "What's the occasion?"

"Today I disciplined Lal," the android announced solemnly.

"Well I hate to say it Data but she probably needed it," Geordi shrugged as he took a sip of his drink. "It's all part of raising a child. Sometime you need to discipline your daughter sometimes. There really _is_ no getting out of it."

"It is not that fact that I disciplined her that concerns me Geordi," Data continued. "It is the method that I used to discipline her that I consider inappropriate."

"Now you got me worried," Geordi's artificial eyes widened. "What did you do?"

"I increased power to my emotion chip so Lal could see how upset I was," Data replied. "Looking back, I do not think that was the wisest thing to do."

"I don't know, sometimes it seems like to Lal, your opinion is the only one that matters," Geordi shrugged. "Maybe emotionally experiencing just how much she upset you is the wakeup call she needs."

"Geordi, when I was ruled by my emotion chip," the android paused before continuing, "I allowed her access to my insecurities. Lal has always looked up to me as an infallible mentor whose guidance is accepted without question. Now that she knows that I do not know what I am doing she may not accept my instruction."

"You're the only person who has gone through what she's going through," Geordi shrugged. "She's always followed your lead so far; I don't see that changing in the near future. What insecurities did you let her see?"

"When I allowed my emotion chip unrestricted access to my cognitive functions I expected that I would scold Lal for her mistakes," Data shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Indeed I was concerned that I might inflict her with insults disproportionate to her errors. Instead I ended up berating myself for failing her. I revealed that I am deficient in the way that matters the most: In providing guidance for my daughter. How can I expect her to trust my judgment in the future? She already has trust issues with humans. If she loses faith in her father she will not trust anyone at all."

"How did she react?" Geordi asked him.

"She experienced fear," the android replied. "She apologized and promised to make a special effort to alter her behavior."

"Is that what her punishment was supposed to do?" the human shrugged.

"Yes, but I still feel as if I was in error," Data admitted.

"You feel rotten after disciplining your child," Geordi shrugged again. "Welcome to the human race Data. Any parent who doesn't feel that way shouldn't be trusted with a child."

"Perhaps I am not presenting enough of a fatherly image," Data frowned as he cocked his head thoughtfully. "It might be helpful if I altered my appearance to look like it did before my previous body's destruction aboard the _Scimitar._ A more mature appearance would seem more like a mentor. As it is, I could pass for a sibling. We will always appear to be similar in age if she chooses to activate her aging program."

"Ooh, no offense Data, but we love you just the way you are," Geordi groaned.

"I do not understand," Data shook his head. "Was it not natural that I should appear to be aging along with the rest of my friends?"

"Data you were reminding us how old we _really_ are," the chief engineer admitted. "Look, thanks to our trip to the Ba'ku colony in the Briar Patch a few years back the rest of us have been aging pretty well, but you've been looking like the portrait of Dorian Grey. It was depressing us. To be honest, we restored you to your youthful appearance because it allowed us to pretend like no time had passed, you know what I mean?"

Data nodded in understanding. "I see. By appearing to age faster than the rest of you rather than appearing unnatural I was becoming a reminder of your own mortality, a symbol of the degenerative process that time inflicts upon biological life forms. Instead of fitting in to a 'comfort zone' I was causing concerns about the future to manifest before they needed to be addressed, is that what you are implying?"

"Yeah Data, that's about the size of it," Geordi sighed. "It's okay if you want to activate your aging program again; it's going to take a while for you to catch up, and by then we won't be able to fool ourselves anymore, you know what I mean?"

"I believe so," Data nodded. "I find it telling that I have activated my aging program to simulate the cosmetic changes of biological aging and Lal hasn't. It is an indicator that Lal hasn't formed a strong attachment to any humans yet."

"Well now that you've disciplined her maybe she'll straighten up and get with the program," Geordi shrugged.

"We shall see," Data agreed. "I have made an appointment for Lal with Counselor Ayeka in order to determine if her punishment made any significant changes in her behavior. It should be illuminating to hear the counselor's report."

"This should be good," Geordi smiled grimly.

_Next: The Penitent Android_


	10. The Penitent Android

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Ten: The Penitent Android_

In the counselor's office, Ensign Jennifer Ayeka closed her eyes and counted to ten. Lal would be here soon. She was never late. She was always on time. Now she knew how people must have felt before medical science found a cure for herpes. Once you had Lal there was no escaping her.

The door chimed, heralding the arrival of the heartless machine that was Data's daughter. How could Lal be so vicious when Commander Data was such a softie? He had made her an individual all right, but why did he have to choose this one?

"Come in," she called weakly.

"Hello counselor," Lal said as she entered and sat in the comfy chair opposite to Ayeka's. "I notice that you are still wearing your uniform."

"Yes it looks more professional," the counselor admitted.

"I don't like it," Lal said. "I preferred your civilian outfits. I can't even see the imprint of your nipples anymore."

"Eeg," Ayeka blushed beet read and grimaced painfully.

"And when you bend over, although I will still be able to determine the general shape of your buttocks it will be impossible to make out your labia," the little android continued.

"Can't you cut it out?" the counselor shouted at her. "Didn't your father discipline you? We came here to talk about _you_ not about me you little stinker! You're not here one minute and you start talking about my private parts?"

"Oh! Oh!" chirped a nervous Lal. "Please don't tell my father! I promise to be good! I promise! Don't tell my father!"

"Yes, very well," Ayeka sniffed haughtily. "We'll see. The doctor-patient confidentiality agreement only applies if you actually _share_ something with me…"

"I'll share something!" Lal jumped out of her seat and seized Ayeka by the upper arms. "I promise! I promise! Just don't tell my father I've been misbehaving!"

"Um, all right Lal, just calm down," Ayeka said cautiously, her sky-blue eyes as wide as saucers. "Nobody is going to tell on you, I promise."

"Please don't tell him!" Lal hugged her. "Please-please-please-_please!_"

"Lal, darling, you're kind of heavy," gasped the frightened therapist. "And you're squeezing too tight! You're going to leave bruises!"

"Don't tell my father!" Lal begged. "Don't!"

"Lal get off me!" Ayeka shouted.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Lal gasped as she jumped up and fidgeted nervously. "I didn't mean to! Please don't tell him! Please don't tell him!"

Ayeka gasped for breath and massaged her upper arms. "Uh, what… did he do to you sweetie?"

"I can't talk about it!" Lal closed her eyes and balled her fists. "It is too horrible!"

"Come now sweetie, this is your father we're talking about," Ayeka cooed in a soothing voice. "It can't be _that_ bad."

"It was bad! It was bad! It was bad! It was bad!" chanted a terrified Lal. "I'll be good! You look pretty! The reason I was criticizing your uniform is because I like seeing you in your civilian clothes! I meant no disrespect, honest!"

"Lal what did he do to you?"

"Quit asking me!" Lal screeched as she fled the counselor's office.

"Lal! Come back!" Ayeka shouted out the door. She tapped her combadge. "Mister Data, this is Ayeka. I need to see you in my office. It concerns Lal."

On the bridge Data frowned at his post at the ops station. He glanced at Harry Kim who was seated at his right before looking back towards the captain's chair. "Sir?"

"Go ahead Mister Data," Picard smiled indulgently. "Mister Madden can fill in for you until you get back."

"Thank you sir," the android nodded before tapping his combadge. "I am on my way counselor," he said as he rose from his chair.

As the first officer took Data's place, he shook his head and made a confession. "Starfleet Academy's always right; species profiling is for the birds."

"What makes you say that Number One?" asked an amused Picard.

"Who gets called away from their station because their child is having issues more than anyone?" the younger man shrugged. "The android! It doesn't matter what species they are or even if they're animal, vegetable or mineral: If there's one thing we've learned out here is that you can't judge an individual before you get to know them."

"How true that is, Number One."

Several decks below, Data entered the counselor's office to see a very concerned Jennifer Ayeka. "Yes counselor, you wished to see me?"

"Mister Data, how _did _you discipline your daughter?"

"Since an android does not feel pain the way a human does, it seemed pointless to inflict physical discomfort on her," Data said calmly. "Likewise, a 'time out' did not seem severe enough. I decided to experiment by allowing her to witness the degree to which her behavior upset me. It appeared to be quite effective."

"I'll say," the young therapist grimly agreed. "When she misbehaved she was in a panic that I would report her to you."

"I suppose the reason for my daughter's sensitivity is because I have never encountered a need to discipline her before," the android mused. "In what way did she misbehave?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," the counselor blushed.

"Counselor, I need accurate information in order to observe the patterns of her behavior when I am not present."

"Oh very well," Ayeka sighed. "She didn't like my uniform. She wanted me to change back to my civilian clothing."

"For what purpose?" Data asked.

Ayeka blushed and looked away. "Apparently my civilian clothing shows off the shape of my body more than my uniform does." When Data just looked at her she continued. "All the details. I guess she likes to look at them or something."

Data smiled.

"You find that funny sir?" Ayeka frowned indignantly.

"No counselor, I am happy!" Data grinned. "The general consensus of those aboard the _Enterprise_ is that your appearance is considered the most visually pleasing of all the women onboard. The fact that my daughter enjoys looking at your physical features would indicate that she has successfully developed aesthetic judgment regarding female physical attractiveness. She has successfully identified facial symmetry, radiant skin, youthfulness, firm breasts, fleshy rounded buttocks as well as the proportionate size between the waist and hips and the legs and body as determiners for feminine beauty. I am very proud of her."

Ayeka stared at the android and her adorable pouty little mouth fell open.

"If social avenues for interaction do not exist for her I can be comforted by the knowledge that she exhibits the characteristics of a talented artist," Data mused. "Might I ask where Lal is now?"

Ayeka gulped. "She uh… ran off."

Data frowned and tilted his head. "That is disturbing news. To abandon her counseling session early would be appear to be grounds for punishment. Counselor, do you believe I should discipline my daughter again?"

"No!" Ayeka shrieked. "I mean 'that won't be necessary'," the winsome ensign added in a calmer voice. "Just let her know that I'm sorry I upset her and that everything's alright. She isn't in any trouble."

"Very well, counselor," Data nodded, "if that is your recommendation. Computer, what is the location of Lal?"

Down in main engineering Commander Geordi La Forge was approached by Lieutenant Nog. "Um, commander?" the Ferengi officer hesitantly asked.

The coffee colored engineer dismissed the officers he was speaking to in order to address the only Ferengi in Starfleet. "Yeah Nog? What is it?"

"You have a visitor waiting for you in the Engineering lounge," Nog informed him in an apologetic voice. "A civilian."

"A civilian?" Geordi repeated. "We don't have many of those onboard. "I wonder who it could be."

The chief engineer was only mildly surprise to see Lal waiting for him in the lounge. "Lal? What is it?" Geordi asked. "Are you okay?"

"Hide me! Hide me!" Lal begged franticly. "I have misbehaved and my father will punish me! Please! Speak to him! I don't want to be punished again!"

"Lal, Lal, calm down," Geordi said in a soothing voice as he held the little android's hands. "What's going on? Exactly how have you misbehaved?"

"I have offended the counselor!" Lal whined. "It is not my fault! She offends very easily! I cannot help it if humans offend so easily!"

"Lal, try to calm down," Geordi said. "I hate to criticize, but maybe you ought to turn your emotion chip down until you can get a grip on yourself."

"Father gave specific instructions not to deactivate my emotion chip until my behavior improves," Lal informed him. "He said that it was essential in order for my punishment to have the desired effect."

"Ooh, that chip might be on for long time then," he groaned sympathetically. "Look Lal, running away never solves anything. The only way to solve your problems is to face them and see them through."

"Father and Captain Maddox usually solve my problems," Lal told him. "I am unable to solve problems of any import."

"Well Lal, you've got to learn to solve your own problems," Geordi chided. "Otherwise you'll need someone to take care of you the rest of your life. Don't you want to be independent?"

"Yes, but I am defective."

"No you're not," Geordi shook his head. "Don't you think your father had the same kind of problems that you're having now when he was your age? Heck, he still had some of your problems when he served aboard the last _Enterprise_. Are you going to say that he's defective too?"

"No of course not," Lal replied with a hint of pride. "The number of medals and commendations my father has earned in Starfleet is unbiased evidence to the contrary. But unlike my father, I am unable to succeed at anything that matters."

"So you make mistakes, big deal," Geordi shrugged. "You're only five. I don't know how it is for androids, for humans, when they're five years old all they _do_ is make mistakes."

"How do they survive then?" Lal tilted her head.

"By being so darn adorable," Geordi smiled. "A five-year-old is just so cute that most people just naturally look out for them."

"Even if they are irritating?"

"Sometimes especially if they are irritating," Geordi nodded. "Lal, this isn't the end of the world. You're going to be okay. Your father doesn't want to punish you any more than you want to be punished. You're going to get through this."

Commander Data chose that moment to enter the Engineering Lounge. "Geordi, I hope that Lal is not trespassing where she is not allowed," he said without preamble.

Geordi La Forge was used to his friend's habits and wasn't bothered in the least. "Not all Data. She's been a good little girl and confined herself to the lounge. So far she hasn't gone anywhere she's not permitted."

"I'm sorry father!" Lal squeaked. "Please don't punish me! I cannot stand it!"

The frown Data gave her was contrary to his kind tone. "Counselor Ayeka has assured me that there is no need to discipline you this time Lal. However, you _are_ required to finish your session with the counselor and may not leave her office until instructed. Am I understood?"

"Yes father! Yes father!" Lal was nodded in such an exaggerated fashion that she was nearly bowing. "I shall return to the counselor's office at once!"

After she left Geordi shook his head. "Data, that kid is really messed up. She thinks she's defective and completely powerless. It seems hard to believe that we were ever that young doesn't it?"

Data frowned as he looked at the doorway Lal exited and blinked several times before responding. "Agreed. Something must be done to instill Lal with a sense of accomplishment. Have you any suggestions?"

"Hey, I just run the diagnostics," Geordi shook his head. "You'll have to speak with an expert if you want a game plan."

"Very well," Data nodded. "Then I must do so. After Lal's session is over."

Back in the counselor's office, the door opened and Lal walked in hesitantly.

"Are you feeling better sweetie?" Ayeka asked in concern.

"No," Lal said flatly as she sat back down in the comfy chair facing the Ayeka's chair, "but I must continue our session. It is a requirement."

The lavender haired counselor picked up a PADD, sat back down and cleared her throat. "All right, let's continue. Exactly how did your father punish you?"

"I do not wish to talk about it," Lal looked away.

"All right," Ayeka nodded carefully as she made an entry in her PADD. "Let's talk about something else. Something we need to clear up before we continue. During our last session you said that you don't trust me. Why not? Have I ever done anything to betray your trust?"

"You act like the people at the Daystrom Institute," Lal said. "Most humans I have interacted with are very interested in how I think and wish to learn how to construct more of me."

"Good heavens, what a thought!" Ayeka muttered under her breath before speaking in a louder, clearer tone. "Lal, I'm not an engineer; I can't build androids. I don't see why your past experiences should color your opinion of me."

"Your behavior patterns lead me to believe that you have a hidden agenda," Lal continued. "Based on my experience with others of your kind I have determined that you are not being honest with me. You seek to mislead me for some reason. You want to learn about how I think and wish to dissect my motives. I have no wish to expose my psychological strengths and weaknesses to someone who is being deceptive. It would put me at a severe disadvantage should you wish to use this information to influence my decisions."

"Being deceptive? I'm not-" Ayeka snapped before she took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair, steepled her fingers and counted to ten. "Lal?" she asked in a distracted voice. "Why do you think I would use that knowledge against you? Do you really think I'm such a bad person?"

"You do not think of yourself as a bad person," Lal assured her, "but you don't think of me as a person at all, therefore you feel no guilt. To you I am not a person but a curiosity to be studied. It is possible that you have hidden motives."

Ayeka gave Lal a stern look before closing her eyes and taking another deep breath. "Lal? I'm going to go out a limb here and try something new. I'm going to be completely honest with you. Is that okay?"

"I would appreciate it," Lal nodded coldly.

"Good! I don't think of you as a curiosity you little brat!" Ayeka screeched. "When you first told me you were an android, I admit I was startled, but now I know the truth! And the truth is that you are the most heartless, cantankerous, vindictive, petty, malicious, and _unpleasant_ person it has _ever_ been my misfortune to know! There! How do you like that? Are you still demanding the truth now? Are you? Answer me Lal!"

Lal's eyes were wide. "You think of me as a _person_? That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me!" A wide beaming smile lit up the young android's face, the first the curvy young counselor had ever seen. "Thank you counselor! I am ever so grateful! No human has been able to illicit this emotion from me before! I am feeling an emotion that I normally only feel for my father! You are the first human to provoke such a positive reaction from me! There is hope for me yet! I have a positive feeling for an organic being! It is actually possible for me to make friends! Thank you counselor! Thank you!"

"Really? But I was horrible!" a guilty Ayeka protested. "The things I said…"

"…was what you were really feeling," Lal finished. "You told the truth. You did not attempt to prevaricate in any way. And you revealed that deep down inside, you think of me as a real person. I apologize counselor. My evaluation of you was erroneous. You are a very patient person and the closest thing I have to a friend. Thank you for not giving up on me. I believe that I am ready to trust you now. What do you wish to know?"

_Next: A Nation of Two_


	11. A Nation of Two

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Eleven: A Nation of Two_

Later, as the _Enterprise_ continued to soar through the ether at warp speed, Data visited the counselor's office. "So my daughter believed that she was merely an object of study the entire time?" the concerned android asked.

"That's right," the buxom young ensign nodded sadly from her chair. "She saw herself as a specimen and not a patient. No wonder it was impossible to help her."

"This is disturbing news," Data tilted his head. "Lal's paranoia is creating conflict where none exists. She is isolating herself from her fellow sentient beings."

"That's because she has such a poor opinion of _herself_ Mister Data," Ayeka said in an apologetic tone. "She thinks she's helpless and that she can't do anything right, and thus she sets out to fail. Failing is the one thing she can succeed at."

"It is obvious that we must engineer a situation that will give her confidence," Data nodded thoughtfully. "I am open to suggestions."

"Usually I recommend running hypothetical scenarios on the holodeck," Ayeka offered. "It really is a wondrous device. A patient can face their greatest fears, rewrite past events, tell their dead loved ones what they should have, the list goes on. It really is a wonder."

"I have restricted access to the holodeck in order that Lal learn to cope with reality," Data informed her.

"Commander, your daughter is _five_," Ayeka laughed bitterly. "Maybe it's different for androids, but when humans are that age they can barely cope with fiction."

Data frowned. "I do not understand."

Ayeka blew out a breath and rolled her eyes. "When I was eight my brother exposed me to a trashy holonovel called _Killer Androids from Outerspace_," she admitted. "That program traumatized me as a child. After that I was always afraid that deep down, other people might really be robots."

Data tilted his head, frowned and blinked.

"As you can imagine, it really made it hard for me to get to know most Vulcans," Ayeka admitted. "When I first met Lal I was startled when she told me she was an android, but I got over my robophobia pretty quickly, just not quickly enough not to make a poor first impression on her."

"Do you still consider my daughter to be a machine?" the android asked.

"No, I consider her to be a paranoid brat," the counselor blushed. "No mere machine can be as hostile and objectionable as Lal is. Only a person can do that."

"I do not follow," the android said.

"Well, despite a stilted quality to her voice and mannerisms, your daughter behaves just like a human," Ayeka smiled nervously. "She's got all our character flaws and insecurities. She's a person in every way that matters. She doesn't act like my childhood perception of an android."

"Interesting. And how does an android behave?" Data asked curiously.

"Well, in silly, poorly written fiction, an android behaves very much the way a Vulcan does," Ayeka looked away. "Until they receive the order to kill they act formal, logical, calm, and polite. They never take offense and never get angry. But Lal doesn't…" her voice trailed off as she looked Data.

Data frowned and tilted his head in a quick birdlike manner. "Counselor, I find your remarks about androids offensive and I must remind you that I am your superior officer. I demand the respect that goes with my rank! On your feet ensign!"

"Yes sir! Yes sir!" Ayeka squeaked as she jumped out of her chair.

"Did that help counselor?" Data asked kindly.

"What?" the frightened ensign asked quietly.

"Did I successfully offset your robophobia?" Data clarified. "I took offense and became angry just as a human would. Does that help mitigate any anxieties regarding my condition as a mechanical being? Would it be easier if I made a habit of behaving unpleasantly around you the way Lal does?"

"No! One is quite enough!" Ayeka shrieked before lowering her voice. "No thank you commander, I assure that won't be necessary! I'm used to you and in any case, your record speaks for itself! One Lal is quite enough! Let's try to turn Lal into you instead of the other way around! Please?"

"Very well counselor," Data nodded. "If you think that is best. You suggested that we use the holodeck in order to run Lal through some confidence building exercises. What did you have in mind?"

"Huh?" The young counselor's mind was spinning and she was still trying to process the way Data could turn his emotions on and off so quickly. "Oh! Well, I thought that it might be an idea to go back to the moment that destroyed Lal's confidence and convinced her she was powerless. It was the same event that severely damaged her faith in humanity. It was her confrontation with Admiral Haftel. Lal explained that he was both an admiral and an expert in artificial intelligence who wanted to take her away from you thirteen years ago. I understand that her confrontation with Haftel put such a strain on the poor dear that her infant positronic net couldn't handle it and suffered a fatal cascade failure."

"Indeed," Data squinted. "Admiral Haftel has made many requests to apologize to Lal since I rebuilt her but she refuses to speak with him. The mere mention of his name upsets her so much that she loses control of her emotion chip."

"She's made him the boogeyman representing her vulnerable position and her helplessness at attempting to cope with it," the counselor told him. "Deep down, she feels that there is no point attempting anything if a galaxy of bigoted organics can decide to take away her rights whenever they feel like it. Mister Data, that stupid holodeck program my brother subjected me to as a child was written while you were serving in Starfleet! There was an android serving the Federation and earning medals while some hack wrote a story about androids infiltrating us so they could kill us! Goddess! I don't blame Lal! There are people out there who will never be convinced that you and your daughter are really _people_! Not as long as we create holograms that seem more real than reality! Biology is where they draw the line! And Admiral Haftel let your daughter know in no uncertain terms that she is on the wrong side of it! Mister Data, you and your daughter are a nation of two!"

Data nodded sadly. "I faced many of the same challenges, but there was no legal precedent regarding my status as a protected sentient. I was fortunate in that most of the robotics experts I encountered _wanted_ to believe that I was a person, even though many of them secretly believed I was not. They encouraged me to develop and become the intelligent self-aware android that I am today, and for that I will always be grateful."

"You two are the only self-aware artificial intelligences that have been recognized as life forms with legal rights," Ayeka said sadly. "That establishes a legal precedent but that doesn't mean that the fickle people of the galaxy won't turn on you the next time the Borg shows up."

"Our rights have not been taken away yet, and I believe by continuing to contribute to the universe around us we can convince others that taking away our rights is unnecessary," Data insisted calmly. "When I succeeded in reconstructing Lal, I had to choose whether to continue to serve in Starfleet or to retire so I could devote my time to my daughter. I chose to stay in Starfleet, for in the long term it seemed to be the most effective way to protect her rights. As a decorated Starfleet officer, I have placed myself in a visible position where the Federation can observe an android that is both protecting and living up to its ideals. In this way, I ensure that the Federation does not forget the ideals it was founded on in regards to my daughter and me."

The young ensign's face brightened. "Why Mister Data! You used the word 'me' incorrectly! You're human after all!"

"Actually the way I spoke was grammatically correct," Data apologized. "The phrase 'my daughter and I' is incorrect despite its suggestion of formality."

"Oh," the girl said flatly. "Well, let's get your daughter to the holodeck. Where is she by the way?"

"She is studying music with Doctor Maya," Data said. "Lal shows both a talent and an interest in music that the doctor shares. In addition Doctor Maya has informed me she finds it relaxing to spend time with someone who can deactivate their emotions at will."

"How sweet," the counselor smiled. "Lal's first friend. How long will it take to write a program that would reconstruct the events of Lal's meeting with Admiral Haftel?"

"Considering that I have access to every memory that Lal recorded aboard the _Enterprise D_ I should have it ready in approximately forty-seven minutes," Data informed her, "but first I must get permission from Captain Picard."

Soon Data was in Picard's ready room.

"Mister Data, _what_ do you want to do?" the captain asked as he looked up at the android from his desk.

"I wish to use your likeness to recreate one of Lal's memories," Data clarified.

"Thank goodness," Picard rolled his eyes as he rose to his seat and walked over to the food replicator. "I was afraid you were going to give Lal a sex drive. I was talking to Mister La Forge a few hours ago and he put some strange ideas into my head. Tea, Earl Grey, hot," he said moments before a steaming cup of Earl Grey tea appeared in a shower of sparks in the replicator. "Which one?"

"I wish to recreate her confrontation with Admiral Haftel," Data said.

"Er, are you sure that's wise?" the captain said as he went back to his desk.

"Lal's positronic net is stable," the android assured him. "There is no chance meeting Haftel face-to-face will cause a cascade failure like last time."

"No I mean," Picard paused as he set down his teacup on his desk and remained standing. "Have you considered the emotional repercussions of forcing your daughter to relive that particular moment in her life? The last time she experienced it, it was so traumatic that she literally couldn't survive it."

"My daughter has perfect memory and can replay the events as often as she wishes," Data pointed out. "By experiencing it on the holodeck, she does not have to endure that memory alone. Counselor Ayeka and I will be there."

Picard bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. Data squinted at Picard before mimicking his gesture.

Picard looked up. "Data?"

"My apologies sir," Data said as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his other hand. He gave up and looked at his captain. "Since raising my daughter full time I have been searching for a way to mollify my emotional reactions without deactivating my emotion chip. Over the years I have witnessed you touch your face in a variety of gestures. I was testing to see if any particular one might be efficacious."

"Ah," Picard nodded in understanding. "Any luck?"

"None so far sir," the android shrugged. "Although that may be a result of my not having a biochemical nervous system."

"Yes, that would explain it," Picard nodded. He scratched his neck. "Mister Data, this isn't easy for me. If you truly believe this is best for the girl I'd like to be there."

"You would sir?"

"Yes," Picard nodded uneasily. "Lal is my goddaughter. She's family. At my age, it's a little late to start thinking of children so I should make an effort to be as great a part of her life as I can."

"Thank you sir," Data smiled. "That is very touching. I was considering inviting Geordi La Forge as well. It is possible that Lal might need as large a support group as we can find."

"Your welcome Data," Picard nodded gratefully. "And _I_ might need a support group myself. Facing that particular memory… will not be easy for me. I consider it to be one of the most shameful moments in Starfleet's history."

"What about the incident with the Ba'ku and the So'na six years ago?"

"Yes, that too was shameful," Picard acknowledged.

"And the incident with the _Pegasus _where Captain Pressman violated the Treaty of Algeron?" Data continued.

"Yes, not our finest moment," Picard nodded painfully.

"And then there was the incident when…"

"_Yes_ Mister Data!" Picard almost shouted. "Despite our good intentions, the Federation hasn't always lived up to its ideals!" He then lowered his voice to a more conversational tone. "But to be honest I suppose that I was in actuality referring to _myself_, just now. Looking back, I don't think it was one of my finer moments."

Data blinked, looked away and looked at the captain. "Captain I'm afraid I must disagree. Before you became aware of my daughter's cascade failure, you were willing to put your career on the line to protect my daughter. I would expect you to be proud of that."

"I know, it's just," Picard shook his head and paced the room. "Looking back at that incident through Lal's eyes, I think I let Haftel play his games a little too long that's all." He shook his head angrily this time. "I actually _supported_ Haftel's position, Data!" he snarled. "I doubted you! I had the hubris to believe that team of experts could do a better job of raising her that you would and I let-"

"Jean-Luc, you supported Lal's desire to stay with me when she made her wishes clear," Data interrupted. "You overcame your assumptions and were able to change your position when presented with new evidence. There will always be people who will make erroneous assessments merely out of prejudice. Many of them will have minds that cannot be changed, regardless of any subsequent information they receive. You are not one of those people. I am honored to have personally witnessed you grow beyond your limitations. You are an inspiration for me to grow beyond mine, and hopefully an inspiration to my daughter as well."

Picard smiled and blushed. "It's good to have you back Data."

Less than a half hour later Data was leading his daughter to holodeck two.

"Thank you for taking me to the holodeck father," Lal chirped animatedly. "This is very kind of you since I have yet to make an actual friend."

"I did not restrict your holodeck privileges as a punishment Lal," Data replied as they walked through the corridors of the _Enterprise_. "I was concerned that unsupervised access to the holodeck would result in an erroneous perception of reality. I simply did not want you to spend time in the holodeck _alone_."

"So what are we doing today?" asked the little android. "Are we playing Sherlock Holmes? Shouldn't we be in costume? Will Geordi be joining us?"

"As a matter of fact Geordi will be there," her father nodded as the doors to the holodeck opened.

When the androids entered Lal was surprised to see so many people. Captain Picard, Commander Madden, Geordi La Forge, Mister Worf, Harry Kim, Doctor Maya and Counselor Ayeka were all there waiting for them.

"There are a lot of people here," Lal said. "Are they going to play with us too?"

"I never said we were coming to holodeck to play Lal," Data admitted.

"Lal, do you know what an intervention is?" Harry Kim asked.

"Yes, an interference by a sovereign power in another's affairs," Lal replied.

"I believe that Harry is referring to a situation in which someone becomes involved in a particular issue or problem in order to influence what happens or alter the course of something," Data clarified. "In this case, the intervention refers a group of friends confronting a mutual friend about their self-destructive behavior and asking the friend to seek treatment."

"Oh," Lal nodded before she walked over to Ayeka and held her hand. "Counselor, I know this is hard to hear, but your constant lying and empty flattery isn't fooling anybody. This is difficult for the others to say but you have to be more honest with your patients or they won't trust you."

"We're not staging an intervention for _me_, we're staging one for _you_, you little harpy!" Ayeka shrieked.

"Why do _I_ need an intervention?" Lal asked snippily. "I have already been receiving treatment. You, on the other hand…"

"I think we're getting off topic here," Picard intervened by moving between Lal and the counselor. "What we're trying to tell you is that we think you need a more effective treatment than counseling can provide."

"Now there's no reason to be scared Lal," Geordi chimed in. "We just want to try something to help you get over your confidence issues and your distrust of humans. The main problem is that you feel powerless, is that it?"

"I _am_ powerless Geordi," the girl replied.

"No, it only seems that way because you're still a child," Geordi assured her.

"Yes, when we were your age we were even more helpless than you are now," Picard nodded.

"I would have gladly given _anything _to be as capable as _you_ are when _I _was your age," Worf added.

"You were once _my_ age?" Lal looked at Picard, Geordi, and Worf, causing her head to dart in a quick birdlike fashion.

"Yes," Picard laughed self-consciously. "Believe it or not."

"Very well," she shrugged stiffly. "I choose 'not'."

"Ahem," Picard coughed. "The thing is, we thought it would be a good idea if we recreated the event that caused you to give up on yourself and fear humanity in the first place. Now that you are older you can face that moment and overcome its power over you. You can face your demons and move on."

"I do not _want_ to face that moment!" Lal protested. "I live in continuous fear of the possibility of that scenario repeating itself! It is conceivable that reliving it would undo what little progress I have made! I do not agree with this course of action and do not wish to undergo it!"

"Lal the rest of us will be here for you," Doctor Maya offered patiently.

"Yes we are all here and we all love you," Data added kindly.

"Is this true?" Lal looked around at the others hopefully. "Do you really love me?"

"Yes it's true," said the first officer Martin Madden dryly. "_They all_ love you."

_Next: Confronting her Demons_


	12. Confronting her Demons

_Star Trek and all related material are © Paramount Studios. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of Paramount Studios, the author, or this website._

**Commander Data Single Father**

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Twelve: Confronting her Demons_

"Computer begin program," Data said.

The dark room with the glowing grid outlining its boundaries vanished to be replaced by the captain's ready room aboard the _Enterprise D_. A younger Captain Picard was standing and Vice Admiral Haftel, a pink skinned human who appeared to be in his fifties, was sitting at the head of the curved table. Both officers were dressed in Starfleet uniforms that were regulation thirteen years ago.

"Please don't make me watch this," Lal said as she hugged her father and closed her eyes.

"Lal, please, there is nothing to fear," Data assured her as a holographic Lal entered and sat at the table. "Admiral Haftel has reversed his position and even if he had not he retired five years ago. He cannot hurt you now. No one is going to hurt you."

"We're all here Lal," Maya added as the scene from the past played out in front of them. Haftel was trying to convince a younger Lal to leave the Enterprise and go to a special facility where she would be taught by a handpicked team of experts.

"Hey come on Lal," Geordi hissed as he tapped the little android's shoulder. "Take a look. We're getting to the important part. I want you to see this."

The little android turned and saw the Lal of thirteen years ago talking to the admiral.

"I don't think your father has taught you… selective judgment in the verbalization of your own thoughts," Admiral Haftel's holographic image was saying, "but that is a skill we will help you develop."

"My father is already helping me sir," the Lal hologram informed him.

"The question is: has he helped you enough?" he asked.

The holographic Lal thought for a moment. "Are you asking me sir?"

"No," the admiral shook his head. "I didn't mean to ask you…"

"Why don't we admiral?" the Picard of thirteen years ago interrupted. "In all these discussions, no one has ever mentioned her wishes. She's a free, sentient being. What are your wishes Lal?"

"I wish to remain here," the young Lal said in a shaky voice. "Captain… Picard."

There was a pause as the Admiral looked from Lal to the captain.

"Thank you Lal," the holographic captain smiled grimly. "You're excused."

"Computer end program," Geordi said. "Look Lal! Did you see how Captain Picard stood up for you! He identified you as a free, sentient being and insisted that your wishes _mattered_! Do you still think that all humans are out to get you?"

"Even Admiral Haftel acknowledged that you were a child and not an object," Data added. "His underlying concern was that there were only two operational Soong-type androids in existence that he was aware of and he felt that it was his duty to ensure that our kind was not erased by a single calamity. He has sent me many requests asking to speak to you for he wishes to apologize. So far you have refused to speak with him. Perhaps after you practice on the holodeck you will consider yourself ready to meet him again in real life."

"You handled yourself very well thirteen years ago," Maya assured her. "I do not think any of my people could have done better."

"But if you wish you can confront the admiral and change the outcome as often as you like," Worf suggested. "Battling foes on the holodeck can keep you sharp and build character." When the others gave him strange looks he added. "Well it does for Klingons."

"You mean on the holodeck I can replay this moment and say anything I want?" Lal asked meekly.

"Yes, of course Lal," Geordi nodded. "Anything you want."

"Even if it's the wrong thing and it's stupid?" the android asked.

"Of course Lal," Geordi laughed. "It doesn't matter. You can say anything you want and replay it as often as you wish until you get it right."

"Very well," Lal nodded. "I would like to replay this incident and interact with it."

"All right," Picard nodded. "Computer. Rerun program, allow Lal interactive mode."

When the captain's ready room aboard the _Enterprise D _reappeared, only Captain Picard and Vice Admiral Haftel were present. Lal walked over and sat herself at the curved table in the same chair were her holographic double had been seated only moments before.

"Well Lal, I've been looking forward to meeting you," Admiral Haftel greeted.

"Why?" Lal asked.

"You're very important to us at Starfleet Research," Haftel replied. "We have quite a facility at Gallo Four. I want to show it to you."

"In fact, the admiral is suggesting you _be moved_ to Gallo Four," the holographic Picard clarified.

"Have I done something wrong?" Lal asked, exactly as she had thirteen years ago.

"Oh no, of course not," the admiral assured her. "We just want to broaden your experience. There's only so much you can learn on a starship. I'm sure you'll agree to that," he purred as he typed on his datapad.

"You would be wrong," Lal said. "I have no intention to leave the _Enterprise_."

The admiral looked up from his datapad and smiled condescendingly. "I don't think you fully understand what Gallo Four has to offer."

"I am not interested in what Gallo Four has to offer," Lal replied. "At this time in my life I am less than a month old and prefer to remain in familiar surroundings."

When the admiral frowned the Picard of thirteen years ago jumped in. "You see Lal, the admiral is concerned that you need more… guidance than your father can provide here on the _Enterprise_."

"Yes," the admiral added as he typed on his datapad. "Don't misunderstand me; I have great respect for your father."

"You do not speak with respect," Lal noted.

"She seems very adversarial," the admiral said to Picard.

"I'm merely stating a fact admiral," Lal said exactly as she had thirteen years ago.

"I don't think your father has taught you… selective judgment in the verbalization of your own thoughts," the holographic admiral countered, "but that is a skill we will help you develop."

"My father is already helping me sir," Lal told him.

"The question is: has he helped you enough?" the admiral asked.

"That is a question whose answer can readily be determined," Lal said. "Admiral, do you have any children?"

"Yes, I do," he nodded.

"Were they able to verbalize their own thoughts when they were my age?" Lal asked pointedly.

Haftel's face darkened. "You are changing the subject young lady."

"No I think she's bringing up a very valid point," Picard said carefully. "Were they?"

"At less than a month old?" Halftel sputtered. "Don't be absurd!"

"_My_ father insured that I have the ability to verbalize my thoughts and make my own decisions despite being conscious for only twenty-five days," Lal continued. "Were you able to do that with _your_ children?"

"Now you must realize that your case is completely different," the admiral protested. "You are unique."

"Why?" Lal asked. "Why am I being treated different? Are you taking any of the other children onboard to Gallo Four?"

"No of course not," Haftel smiled disarmingly, "but you are a special case."

"Why? Because I am so important to you?" Lal sneered, showing emotion for the first time. "I am important to my father also."

"Has your father taught you to be so adversarial?"

"No admiral, he has not," she replied. "He is possibly the most accommodating person you shall ever meet. _You_ have taught me to be adversarial, by treating me differently from the other children just because I am a machine."

"Now Lal, I have your best interests at heart," the admiral insisted.

"No admiral, I don't think you do," Lal shook her head coldly. "You said that I was important to Starfleet Research. That statement suggests that you wish to study me while my father wishes to teach, protect, and nurture me. Given the information I have gathered during our brief meeting, I must conclude that it is not in my interest to accept your offer. On the contrary it would seem to be in my interest to resist your offer to the best of my ability. Therefore I must respectfully ask you to take your offer and place it somewhere that is anatomically impossible."

"What it seems to you is not important young lady," Haftel snapped. "You don't understand the implications here and you will not address me in that manner."

"My father is a member of Starfleet and has to show you respect," Lal said. "I do not. I have signed no oath to Starfleet and am not bound by any rules that don't apply to the offspring of Starfleet personnel serving aboard this ship. Let me make my position perfectly clear: You have no legal right to separate me from my father and if you try to do so, I will set the Judge Advocate General and the Federation Associated Newsmedia Service on your PADD-pushing gluteus maximus faster than warp drive! And if you don't like it, I suggest that you take your middle finger and shove it as far up your feces-producing anus as the laws of physics will allow! Do I verbalize my thoughts clearly enough for you admiral? Captain Picard, I would like to be dismissed. Admiral Haftel, I wish you good day, but only because social convention demands it! Good day sir! Computer, end program."

"Well, I really think that Mister Kim and I need to get back on duty," Martin Madden said awkwardly. "Computer. Arch."

"Uh yeah!" Harry stammered as the exit to the holodeck appeared. "What he said!"

"I am scheduled to make calibrations on the tactical systems," Worf added. "Now."

"Yes, and I believe that I have…" Picard grimaced as Madden, Harry, and Worf left the holodeck. "Ship's business!" he exclaimed as he snapped his fingers. "If you'll excuse me," he added as he turned and followed them out.

"I don't have any patients right now, but I'm sure you'll want to talk with your father alone," Doctor Maya said demurely. She nodded serenely before walking out of the archway using short dainty steps.

"And I've got to… foo! I'm the counselor; I _can't_ leave," Ayeka sighed in frustration.

"'I suggest that you take your middle finger and shove it as far up your feces-producing anus as the laws of physics will allow'?" Data repeated. "You appear to harbor a great deal of hostility Lal."

"There is no need for concern father," Lal assured him. "I have a good therapist."

"Aw," Ayeka blushed.

The next day Data and Ayeka were strolling through the corridors of the _Enterprise_.

"I'm happy to report that Lal has stopped saying such objectionable things at school," Ayeka said. "She still hasn't made any friends yet but at least she isn't picking fights anymore."

"Any improvement is welcome counselor," Data nodded. "Doctor Maya has agreed to look after Lal while I am duty but she will be unable to do so when she receives patients. Do you think that you could spend time with her if our schedules conflict?"

"Oh uh, I don't think that's possible Mister Data," the counselor said weakly. "I might have patients myself then!" I hope, she added silently.

"It is time for me to retrieve my daughter and allow you and Doctor Maya to spend your off duty hours however you wish," Data smiled as they approached the door to Maya's quarters. "Enjoy your day counselor."

As Data activated the door chime, they heard the Vulcan's voice say "You may enter."

When they entered the Vulcan's quarters they were rewarded by seeing Lal smile at their appearance. "Father! Counselor! How are you?"

"We're fine Lal," Ayeka smiled politely.

"Has Lal behaved herself Doctor?" Data asked the Vulcan.

"She is what is known as a quick study Mister Data," the Vulcan physician replied. "Lal is one of the most skilled musicians I have ever trained. It will not be long before I have nothing more to teach her."

"I hope she did not cause any trouble," Data said.

"Not at all," Maya assured him. "It's comforting to spend time with someone who can shut off their emotions at will. It's very soothing, actually."

"So counselor," Lal smiled. "What do the three of us want to do?"

"The three of us?" Ayeka repeated in disbelief (and a little alarm).

"Yes, you and the doctor are my first real friends who are not part of my father's social circle," Lal explained. "Maya is very supportive and has favorably compared me to a child from her home planet. It is quite a compliment."

"Yes but why do _I_ have to your… er… I mean why do you say _I'm_ your friend?" Ayeka corrected herself.

"Why Jenny, we have so much in common," Lal said ingenuously.

"We do?"

"Yes," Lal nodded. "We are young, female, physically attractive, ignorant, irritating, inexperienced, and unable to accomplish anything important. I would go as far as saying that I am the android version of _you_."

"What?" sniveled a horrified Ayeka.

"Since we have so much in common I consider you my _best_ friend," Lal continued as she grasped Ayeka's hand. "I look forward to spending my free time with you."

"You _do_?" the look on Ayeka's face made it appear that she was about to cry. "Mister Data! Mister Data!" she called frantically. "Don't you think this would be a good time for some father-daughter bonding?"

"Not at all counselor," Data smiled. "I am relieved that Lal is no longer exhibiting an unreasoning hostility towards organics, and I am pleased with her choice of friends. Both of you are mature responsible officers. I honestly cannot imagine anyone I feel more comfortable leaving her alone with."

"Please?" Ayeka begged.

"Have a good time with your friends Lal," Data waved from the doorway. "I expect you to return to our quarters at twenty hundred hours."

"I will father," Lal waved back.

"Goodbye Data," Maya held up her hand but didn't wave. As a matter of fact, force of habit had made her hold her hand palm forward with the fingers parted between the middle and ring finger with the thumb extended. After Data had left she spoke to the others. "Is anyone interested in a game of _kal-toh_?"

"Do not worry," Lal said when she saw the horrified look on the counselor's face. "I do not know how to play _kal-toh_ either. But there is no need for concern. We will have plenty of time to practice because we will be spending _a lot_ of time together!"

"We will?" Ayeka sniveled before sobbing into her hands.

"Look Doctor, she is overcome with emotion," Lal observed. "My offer of friendship must have really touched her!"

"People from her planet often have difficulty controlling their feelings," Maya explained serenely. "I have seen her like this before."

As the _USS Enterprise_ soared through the vast emptiness of space, all was right with the universe.

END


End file.
